Once again?

LOLX it's september... realize it is seriously not a good month for me... it's september and things are happenin in this month again... maybe 9 isn't a good number for me lolx!! Well me and su are planning to get ourselves a zippo next month and after that plan his partay at his house where i'm planning to get totally wasted... after that have to plan where to take my mom to on her burthday and finally make time to visit my dad at his graveyard... Seriously i miss my dad and i kinda wish he was here... i'm sure he'll know what to do... Things are starting to get out of control.. especially at home... I so need some vacation so i can escape all the hustle and bustle for just a couple of days and rejuvenate myself...

Well anyone wants to plan a trip with me for maybe 3-4 days? ahaha anywhere but here is fine with me as long as it's somewhere where i can just let loose and forget bout everything...

Hmm.. bringing my laptop to work tmr cause my colleagues are really interested in how my laptop is hahaha...

Ok.. time to do some stuff to make myself sleepy so that my brain will not function and i can finally fall asleep~

nights humans~ hopefully i'm able to see u ppl soon whoever u are hahahhaha

Been a while...

Well I'm currently working now at bangsar as a part time events admin... Been tired lately and stressed up over some issues... Heck I've always got issues LOL!! well hoping to find a couple of days to just hang out all night and not go home for a couple of days... I am hoping and seriously hoping... that this will happen! I seriously need a break from city life and the people...

Been so out of the music world for some time... would like to thank yuen yim for still updating me with awesome music hahahaha! So need to catch up with them people larrrrrr.... i need to see some damn familiar faces ady!!!!!

Well gonna do listen to music, stone and then sleep hopefully~ kinda tired of always hoping, asking and dreaming bout it when I know so well it ain't gonna happen... Well sometimes we just dream too much now don't we xD

Truth is...

I stopped believing in your words, I'm gonna stop believing that there was really any hope cause right now... All I know is darkness and false hopes..lies..so screw you and all your dumb ass words cause from now on, when you need somebody, when you crave for somebody.. I SWEAR i'll not be there, I won't fall for that god forsaken trap anymore as I always did.. I'm better off now, I've learned so stop treating me as your fucking bobo doll cause I know to you.. I'm only here when you need somebody or when you need help.. other times i'm just "a person"

worldstage

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK SUEMITRAA!!!! because of u i have this awesome chance to go WORLD STAGE muahahahahahaha! i shall enjoy myself muahahahaha! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH SUEMITRAA!!! ya know i love ya xD

currently?

Well as the title says currently i dunno what happening... All I know is that I'm pretty lost right now and am pretty cranky as well... Well all i know is.. it's always YOU that pisses me off with the way you never reply me or bother bout what's happening when you pretend you care. It's pissing me off to the max because right now you are basically just playing with me and trust me someday you will regret it cause I will start not giving a damn bout it anymore and I'll fucking stop sharing cause from the way I see it.. it's not doing any shit that is helping me or you giving a damn.

Well I'm just letting of steam.. basically right now doing part time and just chilling and looking around for what college I should go to and do my degree haizz... I'm getting worst and I know it but I can't do anything bout it... might as well just let it be and see where I'll end up..

Well ciao people see ya~~

Sudden Craving!

I have this sudden craving to learn ballroom dancing! Heck I still love dancing it's just that I suck in it hahaha but I would love to learn how to dance ballroom.. I feel it's just so cool in a way... hmm Well hopefully someday I can find a class and learn =D

I need a break from all this shit. Might go on a Hiatus for awhile.. but not confirm yet

Fall for it

I can't sleep and it's already 2.30am. I should be exhausted and I worked at the coffee shop and then played badminton then hang out with su but I can't sleep at all... Well anyways end up writing this cause was hoping it would somehow get me to sleep or make me at least feel sleepy lolx. Well hopefully you people would enjoy it and critics are welcomed =) It's call "Fall for it"



Words
They're just words to you
Random sayings and phrases
But you never knew the effect it does to me

Burn
You love it
You totally love watching me burn
And yet you pretend you care

Honesty
What's that? I'm lost
Cause I don't think you actually have it
Hell...all I see is lies and goddamn fake prayers

Love
Do you actually know what it is?
Do you even feel love?
Cause you fucking say you do but you don't

Cry
You say you do, it helps
But does it? You act all helpless when you're not
Stop fucking playing with me cause it's fucking annoying

Fuck
Yeah fuck you cause I cared, i cared too damn much
And I'm saying fuck you now cause you don't deserve shit
Cause I love watching you getting fucked up

Lies
All lies.. all fucking good for nothing lies
To think I actually believed you
Damn it, all you do is lived a goddamn LIE

Bye?
I would love to just say bye
To just live on without having to care so much anymore
But you fucking can't leave can you? Can't you just say BYE?

Cause you love it
You totally fucking love it
The way you used me and mold me into believing shit
Cause you knew I'll fall it, a fall so deep I can't see myself anymore...

Random!

Just finish my internship at astro and i kinda miss the place already hahaha. loads of crazy time there as well as the crazy people XD Enjoy the place alot cause of the way everyone is open minded and that most people there are real friendly. Well currently waiting for a call from my friend bout this job. Imma photographer at this indian club hahha all i do is take pictures from 1am-4am and then upload them to their facebook profile. If the pay is alright then i'll take the job cause i'm seriously broke lolx!! So people if u wanna buy me lunch, i'm always available hahahaha

Well that's it.. got some pictures with some famous people(malaysia only) but lazy upload hahaha. well that's all I guess, night people gonna find a way to sleep! i hope. TMR PRESENTATION wheeee~

A sign please..

Would you give me a sign? A tiny little sign at least to show that you're still here thinking of us? of me? I miss you alot and I really dunno what to do anymore. I'm really lost and no matter what I do I just don't seem to find the point of it..

I just wish you were still here, that I can celebrate all this special celebrations and occasions with you. There are so many "what if" questions in my head and scenarios that I really am losing it day by day. Nothing works anymore and all I really want right now is whether you're still there, up there, protecting us, looking after us but most of all..

Am I the son you wanted me to be? Have I disappointed you? Because I do care even though I don't show, because I miss you so much even if I said I don't because you're the only one I never had a chance to appreciate... Sometimes it's so tempting to just join you. Because I really wanna be with you but I know it's not the right thing to do and I'm sure you won't want be to join you so soon too but... it's... just..soo... tempting..

I'm still keeping everything inside because I need to be strong just like you used to be. To always be the one that keeps the one I care going and happy. To show them that there is nothing to worry about and there isn't. I'll make sure that they will never see the helpless side of me. The lonely side but still I wish you were still here...

I'm getting this tattoo for you and only you. There's nothing else I can do much but with this you'll forever be in my mind and my body. That's how much I missed you, more than my life..

So please give me a sign... to just show that I'm still the son you love...

Myself

Just came back from a effing long yam cha session with Jenn, Su and Nigel lolx. Good day and awesome people to be hanging with. Kinda know what I want for my 1st tattoo and it means alot to me. More than anything in the world and basically the only way you'll ever see me in a way say I love you to a person anymore.

In a way I'm slowly discovering myself all over again and right now I know this, I have real low self-confidence, I have a physical attraction barrier thing when it comes to girls and I never express love or anything related to that in terms of friends and family. Haha that's me I guess and oh ya friend say I runaway from whatever emotions by just smiling and that ain't true! I hope ><

Well planning to cut my awesome hair on the 1st of july and I am going through an annoying phase. Seriously. Very DA annoying! Can't get rid of it easily some more T_T

Well ciaoz for now~ see you when I see you hahaha

Let's Pretend

Let's pretend
That we're whatever we wished to be
That we're happy all the time
That smiling actually WORKS

Let's pretend
Love is all around
It makes people happy
That marriage is actually a goddamn BLESSING

Let's pretend
I'm happy, you're happy
Work is awesome, home is awesome
That life is fucking AWESOME

Let's pretend
We love our friends and family
That everything is all good
That we have people to TRUST and COUNT on

Let's pretend that we're not pretending and lying and we're fucking smiling for it

Lost

I'm kinda feeling lost these past couple of weeks cause my internship is gonna end and although I kinda make plans and this and that and what I'm gonna do after internship I do not have a single clue whether it's really what I want or whether it's gonna happen the way I want it to be or not... Plus this feelings at night is gonna get me to jump down a goddamn bridge someday if it doesn't disappear soon. Seriously zzz

Well I used to write to release my feeling and pent up emotions but I can't seem to write and once in a while the inspiration is there and the words start popping into my mind but I can't find a paper or anything to write. And I prefer writing on deviantart when I'm alone and I never seem to be alone at work or at home cause of my lil bro but I don't blame him lolx.

Wanna get a laptop so I can have my privacy but it won't be so soon and well.. when I finally am alone the words and the feelings all just disappear and I'm left sitting in the room feeling numb. So yeah it kinda sucks right now but at least I'm always out with friends on weekends which kinda help me feel alot of better haha.

You know who you guys are and you're awesome I have to tell you that XD

Well that's all... gonna stone in front of the computer now~ ciaoz

Wow!

It's been a longggggg time since i've blogged hahaha. Didn't had the urge to write or anything for the past month. Well i'm actually having fun with my internship at astro as i've met a bunch of people and shit. Learn to some life shit things over there too and yeah. I kinda miss writing all the usual things write and all and might start back soon as I need to keep my writing skills intact as a mass communication student lolx!

Well got a new hair cut which is an effing mohawk. yes people the mohawk, mohawk not the malaysian fake one hahahha. Loving it and planning to get my ear piercing soon then my tattoo~ Still thinking of the design but for now things are looking good.

Met a DVJ haha and he is willing to teach me how to be a DVJ so that's what I'll be doing after my internship. Cause I plan to further my studies in Aussie and I need to save up cash for it. So yeah while saving money I might as well go learn something new wheee~

Well that's basically it for now haha. Till the next update =X

Recent Events

Well ain't blogging that often anymore cause I can't really have much to say.. well actually I do I'm just feeling really lazy to blog that's all hahaha. Anyway got myself a new phone which is the Nokia 5230. It had some flaws but I'm happy with the phone and that's good enough for me hahaha. Hmm.. work is alright at Astro and there a primary school gathering come up and I'm kinda excited cause I wanna see who is the people I've been spending my childhood days with hahaha.

Well That's really all for now and I'm hoping I'm gonna learn more stuff about radio DJ-ing because that's what I really wanna do because my passion is music haha. Well I know I can't talk as much as these people usually do and crap as much as they do but I gotta work something out if I wanna go on pursuing this path so yeah ><

Well that's all for now I guess so stay tuned for ma next update hahaha

Gabriel ma Friend! =D

Today hang out with Gabriel Thong hahhaha, my old time friend since I moved to taman connaught school~ awesome dude la wheee~ besides him there was also chee weng, chi meng, pak onn and hui ling hahahah =D Played some snooker and drank some mamak juices yeahhhH!!

I went to Tokio Hotel on Saturday, May 1st and it was effing awesome! No other words can be describe for their performances hahaha. Well currently waiting for my phone which is suppose to arrive either this week or next week~ Seriously can't wait hahaha cause this is my 1st phone that I fully used my own money to get =x

Well that's all for now~ wheeeee~

Hate Being Used

I hate being used.. I fucking hate being used so you better be smart enough to stop only calling me when you need me. Fuck off if that's all I fucking am to you.

Tokio Hotel concert tomorrow~ am really more excited to seeing pop shovit more than tokio cause i prefer pop shovit's music more hhahahaha. I bet if edward knew he would go nuts from not being able to rock out with them lolx! Anyway hopefully I'll get over this feeling.

I'm pissed... effing pissed....

Kelly Clarkson!!

YES!! I went to Kelly Clarkson's concert! I would like to thank SUEMITRAA for the free tickets!!! Seriously I would have missed this awesome experience if it wasn't for you!! awesome awesome awesome, its seriously the only words i can say... AWESOME!!

Went with yet wai haaha, didnt see her for such a long time and had a fun with her. Keana as well as Callen hahahaha. Well that's all for now, if I get pics from yet wai I'll post it up XD

For now I'm off whooot~

One more writing

My hands are shaking, shaking so violently. I can't control them, I can't control the chaos in me. The full force of multiple emotions trying to push them self out. To reach out into the open. I standing here, staring and staring into the open space. Thinking what is my purpose, where am I suppose to be.

I feel like a stranger in my mind and my body. I wanna break free, from this thinking from this rules from this restraint. I don't feel the same and no one would understand. I wanna do the unthinkable, the forbidden and the taboo-ed.

No one notices, no one ever does. I was never here, always in my own world. I can't drive, I can't walk and I can't crawl for I have no idea where I'm heading. I'm a stranger at my own home. It's worst to never be noticed in a place where people should know who I am.

My body is shaking, shaking so violently. I can't stop myself from shaking, it's controlling me. I'm here, I'm fading..I'm gone. Disappearing act like the wind, like the air itself.

I'm whispering to myself silently..

Blogging once again!!

Well just wanna say life is alright for now, tired most of the times but at least I still have times to go out with my friends hahaha. Just yesterday went to leisure mall with su and jenn to have starbucks! Yes starbucks.. I haven't had that in AGES! I love coffee hahah too bad it doesn't work on me much. Anyway currently working at Astro, AMP dept which is the radio department and at the part of the tech and engineering. I know Imma mass comm student so why I'm at a engineering place.. well gotta ask the due that hired me lolx. I'm fine with it cause I get to play around with the radio equipments =P

Anyway taht's all for now and the rumours ain't true people! THERE IS NOT HOT BABES IN ASTRO!! =D

Chocolate Ice-Cream

It was 1am when I ate chocolate ice-cream in ma room hahahaha. Was hungry and that was the only food left I could find so that's what i had for supper. Well on saturday I danced at BOTB with Parts and it was awesome. Sadly I think it was my last time dancing with them but it was memorable haha. Anyway hope to get the video soon for my dance cause I really wanna see how I did though I'm sure I wasn't all that great.

Well gonna go to astro tomorrow to get the forms and everything so I can start on April 1st. Hopefully everything goes well so that I'll have a great time working there. Well till next time, don't really have much to blog about anymore~ see ya

When I wake up
The dream isn't done
I wanna see your face and know I made it home.
If nothing is true
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you.

Mohawk!

Muahahahahaha! Finally got rid of my annoying fringe which I used to enjoy having but I hate it now =.= no idea why hmm.. anyway my hair doesnt look good if it's long so i might as well keep it short yet "hot" hahahaha. Well went to Kim Marrie (i think that's how it's spelled) at time square with jenn her juniors and kok pin haha. Kok Pin just tagged along cause he had nothing to do but appreciate his company wheee~ Had fun teasing Jenn with Sophia and Dilla (again i think that's how her name is spelled hahaha). Gotten my hair cut and it's too damn short I find it but once it grows longer I'm sure it'll look better hehehehhehehe

Well that's all for now, am effing happy cause Astro called me and accepted me to intern with them wheee~ now to finish up my malaysian studies and my to perfect my dance tomorrow so I can give an awesome performance for Battle of the Bands at Sunway Pyramid on sat =) well good luck to all those dancers and performers~

Chit Chat's

Would like to officially thank edward and joey for coming all the effing way out to cheras just to yamcha with me and jenn hahahhaha. And of course su too, havent been out with you guys like this for ages... Makes life more interesting and thanks for making me the so called topic of the century =.=|| hahahahhaa.

Sooo tired, i feel old hahahaha, getting tired easily and my appetite is seriously dying though i havent really recover yet but still i can feel my appetite is like decreasing.. hmm maybe it's cause i've been exercising alot hahhahaha hopefully cause i dun wanna always be fat =P

Well gotta sleep, performing tmr for the freshmans~ see ya

I'mma back =D

HAHA WHOOT! I'm happy because I'M HAPPY! My emo-ness has finally finish, today was an awesome day, hang out with high school friends, crapping whole day and shopped for ma shoe, kok pin story book and of course pak onn, me and kok pin got jia shin and chi meng birthday present muahahahah. I'm effing broke lolx cause my shoe is a skate boarder shoe and it's original XD so it cost a LOT!!! AHHHH, imma happy cause i finally remember all the steps in the dance which i'm gonna perform on monday for the freshman hehehhehehehhe

I feel better now that my stomach is healing haha, had nandos with my mom and lil bro after dance practice and next friday confirm gonna watch moveh with ma best friend su su and hopefully jenn too~

Hmm well that's all, gonna settle some malaysian studies shit then game with kok pin hahhaa, been postponing my gaming session with him for AGES!

Till then~ cya awesome readers =D happy~ smiley~ oh yea, planning to go get my dumb hair cut next week into well.. get surprise =P

Stranggled Deeply

Another week to go before my deadline, crap.. wonder if it'll make it in time... oh well if I can't then that's life I guess.. lolx I'm seriously being misunderstood. well if whoever you are thinks i'm that kind of person then so be it. I'm done being the one always going around asking for forgiveness. I've done that one too many times already.

Hmm I missed the Fly.fm cash call today and yeah.. stupid right? Easy money gone and to think with that at least half of my problems could be solved already.. well no point brooding over it, only thing I can do is to try again and hope this time i'm there to pick up the call if they decide to call me.. I really hope they decide to call me again...

Everyone wants to be smarter or have a bigger brain, right now I don't want one... been working my mine overload since last year and I'm sick of thinking. Too much information isn't always a good thing and assuming too is even worst. Without a brain one can just escape from all those emotional problems cause you don't have anything to think about to cause u emotions. Well my idea for it anyway hahaha, just being random me as usual =)

Bench and Bride

That's the title of the short fiction story I wrote and it's kinda not ma thing but yeah it helps calm my emotions =) well I did the friends exposure thing on facebook and yeah it's kinda depressing... The question they ask make me realize.. that i don't really have a effing close friend anymore.. well i think of them but do they think of me as a close friend? Another question was who do you trust with all your deepest darkest secrets.. answer? none... this is just effing sad, the one i can't live without? none. the one that i text the most? none. the one i hang out the most with? currently none... i'm just wandering around most of the time.

Well whatever, i'll meet more people and we'll see how things goes =). At least I know I still have the tards hahaha, well guess i do have friends.. kok pin and pak onn.. hmm maybe i'm not a lost cause? =P

Ok, enough of the emo shit lolx. Told myself I'm done with that and I will be. I just need time for all the events that are unfolding around me. Trying to get an intern position with Hitz.fm cause it's near to my house but if the timing is not right.. i might not be able to dance with parts anymore and that kinda makes me sad, cause dancing is one of my most passionate passion =D... Kind of started dancing in the middle of the night with myself when everyone is asleep which I swear I have never done it before..

Well ok I'm kinda lost as to what else I can say but to whoever is reading this, please pray that I get a position over there >< Plus stop asking my grandfather to stop saying those stuff... I'm kinda losing my confidence and spirit here...

OH yeah... marcus and june.... JANGAN NAUGHTY NAUGHTY AH =p hahahahah!

Eenie Meenie

Hmm well was out the moment I woke up today, had to pick up a relative of mine to buy her bf a hamster as his bday present hahaha, damn cute la the hamster and at the pet shop i saw a freaking siberian husky. DANG! I want that dog too bad it cost too much for me to afford lolx. Anyway well it's kinda made me realize things though that i placed music and animals on my top list compare to other things hahaha, imma weird but that's me so i think i wanna intern either at a place that deals with animals or a place that deals with music. I really wanna make full of the place I'm gonna intern for I'm effing paying for it hahahhaa. Well another i realize was the 1st thing I'm gonna get when i have my own house is a dog, been wanting a dog since forever. Too bad the dog my mom brought back when I was small ran away cause my mom forgot to tie him up T_T aahhh oh well, DOGGIES! All I currently need is that lolx. Man's best friend =)

Well dancing is awesome and I'm getting better I hope. Need to master all the dances asap so the performance at sunway will be awesome! hahaha well that's all I guess, liking the new song =) eenie meenie by sean kingston feat justin bieber


Was I always this breakable? Guess they were right, I'll always be that dumb ass emo kid

Golf-ie~

Just came back from playing golf and it's my 1st time haha, kok pin brought me to the driving range which is actually the place i play badminton zzz hahaha. Anyway golf is like way freaking harder than i thought it would be but it was fun but i was busy cursing the golf balls so hard that in the end, i couldnt hit a ball further than 50m T_T which is SAD! Anyway golf not really my thing, prefer badminton, basketball and of course dancing hahhahaha. Well got an idea to turn my blog into a place where i write my stories but I guess I may not start so soon cause I'm actually quite busy with issues. hmm anyway need to get my new shoes soon so i can practice dance in them and get comfy in it... well that's all i guess.. I finally found a way to solve my resume problem.. am happy =) well that's all for now ciaoz

Intern

Well kinda feeling stress up cause I haven't send any application to any company yet and I'm seeing everyone going to work already which is kinda effecting me.. well would love to send my resume now but i cant cause i dunno how i gonna settle my malaysian studies then.. everything's kinda screwed up plus the dance performance on the 27th of march means i gotta kinda give a full concentration on it since it's on a very big event.. well really need to settle my thoughts and all and the fact of i cant send my resume cause of i tiny little details is killing me.. trying to find a solution but ain't easy.. oh well.. guess that's all for now

Yamaha F-210

This is the guitar i'm gonna get hahahhahahaha! it's rm300 for it and i'm saving up for it but 1st gotta get ma shoes man~ feel so lazy to study copywriting but if i dun do it i ain't gonna get awesome marks man.. it's my job to get awesome marks hahahhahah... ok need to go sungei wang soon to shop for shoess~ anyone wanna follow? =P

K-Pop

Currently fixation is on K-pop songs. Just found out that their beats are awesome to dance with hahaha and am spamming their video non-stop on youtube. Guess what i'm suppose to be studying now and yea my obsession with dance is taking over my studies nuuuuu T_T. okok gotta force myself to go back and study after maybe a few songs =P hahah ciaoz~

Baby

Currently listening to the song baby by justin bieber and addicted to it hahaha because the beat is awesome, easy to dance with hahaha. ok back to studies! DTP i will not FAIL YOU!

wheeeee~

Girls are dangerous zzz... dunno if it's true or not but i almost lost my best friend and yea i dun want that to happen again. Thought I was prepared for everything this year guess I wasn't hahaha. Well gotta make things straight again and hopefully my best friend will forgive me ><. Found out today a friend of mine is getting married in 2 years time. Wow kinda shocking haha cause it's quite fast but yeah wish they have a happy life together =D. Well performing on the 27th of march in conjunction with the earth hour battle of the bands and WWF. Everything for the animals hahaha, I place my heart and soul for those helpless, cute creatures.. oh and the environment too hahahahaha. Friends are more important than finding the right one out there, got to get that screwed into my head lolx but anyways hopefully things will work out fine then I can get on with my plan which is get a guitar - phone and a laptop hahahaha. Hmm might be going to a trip with edward and the tard family if I can get enough funds on the 9th of march

Realization

Realize i'm being stupid again haha, I was never alone to be started with, just me thinking bout the wrong things. Totally forgotten bout my resolution but it's back so yeah gonna start living life fully again hahaha, got no time to waste, dunno how long left I'll be here wheee~

Emotional day zzz

Well today kinda feel depressed... actually since yesterday hmm no idea why actually but its gone now lolx. Found out where my addiction to ciggy comes now, when i'm depressed i want to get a stick lolx... been wanting one since yesterday night zz but of course i didnt hahaha cause i've quit and not gonna smoke anymore hahahaha i think... hmm anyway well got all my effing emotions out by writing and i think yea it helps me figured out what's bothering me lolx. Kinda suck though since I don't tell people my problems anymore haha, lesson learned from the past. But i'm doing fine lolx, kinda wish i can find a song i really wanna dance to so that I can put all my time and effort in it instead of keep browsing through my playlist looking for a song.

Anyway kinda excited bout performing for the battle of the bands thing thing hahaha. As long as it's dancing i'm totally excited bout it wheee and if my cheque for feb month comes out soon then i can get my guitar already hahaha. Music is practically my whole life, cant live without it at all. Well I guess that's all for now. Thrown the thought of making myself start being serious because i shouldnt waste my time being somebody i'm not. If i can never be serious then so be it, it's who i am and who i'll always be. the person that laughs non stop and loudly =D

Shattered Glass

Trying something new and yea this was the result lolx.. wonder if it's good or not


"Just one more"
He begs
Knees on the ground
Eyes filled with tears

"Just a tiny bit"
He cries
Sobs start forming
Tears flowing freely

"I beg of you"
He moans
Fist on the ground
Head facing the ground

"PLEASE!"
He screams
Losing his cool
Everything starts spinning

"Just one taste"
He begs harder
Fist punching the ground
Blood starts appearing

"...Just...one..."
Losing his voice
Giving up on hope
Stares at her

"You knew didn't you"
He asked
Grief in his eyes
Hair all over his face

"Yes."
She answered
Emotionless
Staring at the sky

"Then why?"
His final question
Staring at her eyes
Hoping for a light

"Cause I don't love you"
She replied
Then kick him aside
As she left him there

He was shattered
Broken to pieces
Unrepairable
Like a shattered glass

Pics!

1st the pictures while in the waiting room for the performance to start hahaha












Now we went to Murni at ss2 to have our lunch hahahaha





Finally I save the best for last hahaha


I look awesome don't I? hahahaha Plus I'm wearing white =P well that's all people gotta sleep soon cause waking up at 5-ish tmr morning zzz

KDU launching of new Campus~

Today was a good day hahahaha, when to college early to meet up with jin swan, edward, yuen yim, marcus and nadhirah to go to the curve and go to bentley music store muahahaha. Found my guitar there =D HEHEHEHEHHEHE. Well after that we went to ss13 campus for the launching of it to watch my friends perform hahaha and they are... you know who you are lolx cause I partied with you guys all day long~ wheee~

Well seriously I had loads of fun and all lolx. Can't wait to get the pictures from andrew's camera cause one of them i wanna put as my profile picture hahahah and i'm sure most of them who saw the pic would know =P

Well that's all for today I guess, will post my pictures up as soon as i get them and i'm still waiting for my dance video!!!

Choreography

Am suppose to sleep 2 hours ago but yeah i'm still here hahaha, i left 5 hours to sleep.. ok maybe less than that but whatever hahahhaa. Am suppose to choreograph a dance but still looking for a song. Got some ideas but it's just the intro of the song, feel like wanna do those where u dance awhile then the song changes and changes to a few song while the dance continues hahahhaa. But I havent do much yet cause all I can do is imagine dance moves and some I cant even do it myself! torturing wei haha. Well that's all need to get my thoughts out for all I can think is dancing

Mask and Keychains~

Hehehehehhehehehehehehehhe! I got keychain muahahahahaha lolx... oh and I did mask today lolx because i wanted to try since jin swan, matthew and edward did it before haha. Well went to work today at bangsar and didnt manage to sell anything to anyone but still at least I got my remuneration =D. After work went over to june and cy place to meet up with them and have lunch. It's only a week but it feels longer not seeing them hahahaha. We went and eat at choi kee for lunch since yu yee is closed. After that we decided to have dessert at wonder milk cupcakes then have awesome drinks at coffee bean! my 1st time at coffee bean hahahha. Don't blame me! it's cause i'm still busy trying out different kinds of food and drinks that the world has to offer lolx

Well CY promised me this, PASSION FRUIT! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAH and CY stop eating maggi goreng and high class places lol! Oh ya apparently, Bibi bullied Bubu and bubu was so so so sad till she keep sniffing my hand hahahahaha.

Well night time went to kok pin cousin house, keith, cause he is having an open house and wanted me to gamble there but end up didnt gamble there but at kok pin house lolx. I wont bout rm7 only but still it's a lot to me cause i can buy 7 teh tarik with this hahahaha. I don't expect much, just wanna have fun lolx.

Well that's all for now~ Sleeping soon I guess, tomorrow working then have to decide badminton or family dinner haiz.,..

Holiday!!

Just came back from ma Holiday trip with my uncles and aunties at Gambang Resort/ Water Theme park hahahahha. It's near kuantan so I was there since tuesday muahahahaha! I went there to gamble and of course bully the girls but i end up getting bullied which is seriously bad lolx! Well went to the theme park which was a fun trip even though the park is smaller than sunway but still it was worth it to keep throwing the girls into the water hahahahahahhaahahha!

We went there and gamble and snooker and pool and did all kind of stuff lolx. I gambled on tuesday and lost a total of rm70+.. Ya i noe it's a lot and I blame everyone for forcing me to be the banker! GRRRR! hahaha oh well doesnt matter cause to me as long as we're all having fun then it's alright lolx. What i've been taught by my mom is that Money lost can always be earned back, just depend on how hard you work for it. hehehehhehehhehe

Well enough of me talking lol cause i'm tired and assignments are due and all.. Well I'll get the pictures posted up once I get them by my cousin's cousin hahahha. Hopefully its soon~

Well out~ can't wait to see the tard family hahahah!

Choi Yat (1st day of CNY)

Today was awesome! Woke up late and all but I wore white. Yes people white ahaha and people say I look good in it =P Anyway woke up went and wish people around my house Gong Xi Fatt Choi and of course collect ang pao's whee~ After then went to eat vege at pudu then follow my uncle they all go to my uncle mother in law place and get more ang pao's lolx. Then we played blackjack and I lost money zzz.... Apparently I've got no luck when it comes to gambling hahah but that's fine I don't gamble much and I intend to make it stay this way wheee~ Then went dinner at steven's corner and then played pool with cousins and uncle and aunty and all lolx! I have to teach my bro how to hold a stick next time.. HE NOOB LOL! Anyway we played money for pool also hahaha one game = rm5 and the score was 2:2 so no winner no loser lolx!

Well in the end it's an awesome day so yeah! awesome day to look forward to tomorrow wheee~

Finally

Well finally CNY is coming haha and so is valentine days and it looks like it's gonna be a lonely valentine but that's ok~ Have things to do and sort out i think hahahaha. Well am thinking of choreographing a dance but gotta choose the right song and make the dance look awesome wheeeee~ just played game till 1am hahahaha, been at least almost 2 weeks since i touched a proper game cause of the dance, assignments and the awesome valentine event but it was all worth it lolx. The event was awesome and I had loads of fun and met new people hahaha

Well problems are coming back again in the family, and i'm in the middle again lol.. sucks being the man of the family and now she keeps her problems from me and tells my brother.. kinda hurts but I guess i know why cause I've been reacting like the rest everytime she ask for a favour.. I can't help it.. i'm only human but at least i'm working tomorrow lolx.. well hopefully i'll have loads of fun =P

haha that's all for today and HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE and Happy Valentine's day =)

My dance dance~

So today performed on a fully packed cafeteria and it was scary! I was damn nervous lolx and boy was as well but I think his was more obvious than mine hahhahaha. I was scared the starting part of my act wasnt loud enough cause I was really nervous and all. While dancing and my time to do my solo hahaha I tripped cause of the floor which makes it hard to shuffle and do my dance but luckily i regained my balance and continued~ hahaha act like pro only hahahhahahaha! Well will get the video once I get it and post it here wheee~ Well helped out by selling roses and getting people to buy more hahahha and tomorrow is another day to sell more lolx.. Kinda planning to do the dance for the launching of KDU new campus on the 23rd of feb but have to see whether i can dance or not 1st lolx.

Well that's all for now I guess cause I gotta get my assignments done and I suddenly am into roses haha, more specifically blue and dark blue and black roses =P. Oh today went murni with june, cy, sarah, matthew, jin swan, edward, joey, marcus and fatta and ate all kind of food i;ve never seen before! Plus I found a new coffee place for me to experiment my coffee desires hahahah! life is gooooooood! but gotta get the money to enjoy them 1st wheeee~

Well that's all for now haha~

Exhausted kao kao!

I am extremely tired and my legs are sore from all the bending and jumping and the balancing hahaha. All from one tiny dance hahaha been practicing since sunday night after work and today at 7.30pm till 10pm! Well I'm finally getting the moves done and all but my timing is still very very off sadly.

Well gonna go for the pretend interview at college tomorrow which is like 40 marks wei! After that straight go for dance rehearsal with my formal wear hahahah! Nah just kidding lolx gonna bring shirts and pants and all i think. Too tired to think right now and my assignments are pilling up and I haven't been writing much as well. Can't really get the words to connect with each other tomorrow which kinda sucks lolx. Maybe when I'm less stressed up from all the works and assignments and all then I'll get my mojo back up haha.

Well people please come to the valentine event that we're organising in KDU on the 10th and 11th which is this wednesday and thursday haha. I'll be performing on the wednesday so you wouldn't want to miss this! A fat boy dancing on the stage WHOOOOT! lolx

I am embracing myself chehhhh~ haha but at least I'm exercising and all to keep myself from gaining weight I guess and I havent even done my CNY shopping yet but at least I got my hair cut which looks better I guess lolx.. planning to leave it long this time and ain't gonna cut it short no matter how beggar-ish i look =P

Well that's all for tonight~ Trixia, Boy, Yat and Eva are crazy crazy people lolx. Fun to hang out with wei~

Maneater

Muahahaha I am dancing to the song maneater for the valentine event on the 10th of february so please please come and see me dance hahaha. I'm sure it's something you don;t want to miss as well as the valentine event i'm helping out to organize =D Currently suppose to study for MWD but am sleepy and tired from the dance rehearsal just now lolx...

Well gotta study soon or either sleep now and wake up at 6-7am in the morning to study which isnt a good thing lolx... BAH! need to keep focus lolx.. chinese new year soon and i hope that i'm able to go shopping for clothes this saturday hahahaha as well as get my hair trim.. getting thick already =P

Hmm well that's all for now whee~ been spending most of my time with june, cy, sarah, matt, edward and jin swan~ wheeee~ okok gotta go LOL! well hope i'm able to get a video of my dancing hahaha so i can post here

Valentine

I am wondering.. If you are interested in a person will you go and ask that person for this upcoming valentine day to be your valentine? Ignoring the risk and rejection and just go for it or will you wait for a sign before you ask?

KFC!

Today had the 1st meeting of the valentine event =D I'm under DA evil person called *yuen yim* yes she is evil, pure awesomeness evil.. well not awesome but evil~ u should get what i mean ahahhahaha. Anyway yuen yim if u are reading this.. you are EVIL! you will suffer from me muahahahahahaha. So yeah back to the event, it's gonna be plain effing awesomeness so please please come and experience this event haha, it's on the 10th and 11th of february from 9am-5pm at kdu college. If the event don't interest u at least come see me hahahaha.

Today's dinner was at KFC at atria and Jin Swan, Marcus, Edward and me walked there and while on the way we bump into the Mix.Fm roadshow or whatever they're called haha. So we played games and all hahaha. Then dinner fu yoh... june, cy and matthew interview joey like some kind of extremely strict parents in law hahahahaha! pity her wei then they interview edward then jin swan hahahaha.

Well that's really all that for today so remember come for my event! hahahah

Now

Hoping shit won't be happening for everything working out smoothly now.. it's peaceful now.. if it starts again I don't think I'll be able to handle it anymore. I'll crack and that's the truth

Broken Pieces

Today I finally sold one product to a consumer muahahahahhaha! Finally one of my 1st real sales and I'm happy. Well after work went to choi kee to have lunch with june, cy, sarah and matthew lolx. Would like to thank them for having lunch with me and letting me hang at their house till my mama came to pick me up hahaha. Kinda excited bout the valentine event that we're setting up cause I've never really been to any valentine event and I guess I'm finally going to one hehehehehe~

Well june asked us all to write what love means to use and I wrote two lolx. The first one was too long so I wrote another which is kinda funny yet sweet at the same time. Hmm kinda like it cause it's just plain goofy hahahaha. Well came home and wrote something kinda sad.. it's just something I saw today and I just couldn't help myself but to write bout it.. Hmm seems like I've been really been writing alot these past weeks and I like it LOL!

Well won't really post it here cause I don't really wanna show people stuff that's gonna make people feel sad or anything, I prefer making people smile laugh =D but I'll post the link here so you readers can read it if you guys want to.

http://miseries.deviantart.com/art/Broken-Pieces-152270751

Well that's pretty much I can remember for now haha, till next time~

You

It's a mistake
Looking at you
Why did I fall for you
Why do you interest me

Never knew it would hit me like this
I was wrong
Sometimes giving your all isn't enough
It's just pointless

What's special bout you
You're just a girl
Just like the rest
Different sure, still.. a girl

There are tons
I was so so so wrong
Sometimes giving up is the only path left
Still I wished, I hoped.. I prayed

That I could
That I had
That I'm somebody
To you and wanted me just like I do to you

I just wanna be free
Free from human emotions
Just to run wild again
To do what I love the most

But it's pulling me down
This emotions
I had to be different to you
Be someone else to you

I hate it
To not be brave
To just do what guys do
To just flirt around like others do

But I guess I couldn't
For I'm different
I'm too considerate for people's feeling
That's what I think

I'll learn though
To spread my wings and fly
Be who I am to everyone
That way..

I'll be special to someone
So that I'll be appreciated
Just like I appreciate you
For being you...


Wrote this today cause I couldn't face the fact of reading the thousands of rules for advertising purposes but in a way I found out that the music I listen to when I try and write effects the emotions on what I write. So if it's an emo song then it'll come out emo ahhahahaha. Well went to lunch with suemitraa, audrey, sarah and callen at one utama and ate a place call.. Old Town SIGNATURE.. hahaha high class place u noe =P expensive too hahahahhahaa

Had a bunch of fun hahaha cause we are now offcially called the... wait for it... the IMMIGRANTS! hahahahaha funny la today, laugh till our stomachs almost break except audrey haha her poker face is awesome!

Dance today was fun haha, imma slow learner but I'm trying >.< anyway my neck hurts cause 1 part of the move u have to push your to the side and that hurts badly hahahaha but still i love dancing so it's just a little sacrifice i guess wheee~

That's all I guess.. so yea stay tuned for more awesome pawsome 4some mosome stories of ma life haha... kinda like writing haha and letting people read it, having their opinions is awesome compared to writing alone.

Wondering

Well today wasn't a bad day hahaha, spend most of the day after class with june, cy and sarah. We played bingo and hangmen because we were bored lolx. Then went home and I fell asleep on the lrt even though I slept early yesterday lol but the eye bags on me says another story I guess. Hmm, needa catch up on my beauty sleep soon. Anyway in a way I kinda wanna try writing other stuff besides depressing, dark and gloomy poems but end up something that failed lolx... It's call wondering which is why the title of the blog is this haha.

Went out with Su just now and had fun playing pool and all haha. He had problems but of course my awesome lame jokes cured him for that few hours we hang haha. Hope I helped him out, always hate to see a friend feeling down.

Well I'm gonna post the poem now I guess but I feel that this poem has no emotions in it at all.. so it doesn't really struck out to me.. hmm well gimme ur comments please =P I like to hear them

I'm hesitating
I wanna facebook you
Text you
Call you

I'm afraid
That I'm disturbing you
Annoying you
Scaring you

I'm thinking
If you'll think of you
Dream of me
Imagine me

So many cared
I'm not the only one
There are others
But I wanna be the special one

What is it I have to do
I wanna impress you
Make you feel awesome
Keep that smile on your face

I'll be anything
Everything you ever want
I'll be that gentleman
And that comedian joker

Wondering
Would I be good enough
Do I need to change
To be your baby

Kinda hoping
More like wishing
Don't wanna beg
But will you be my valentine?

-Night people -

CHEHHHH~

Addicted to this word ady and i blame c.y!! always using it till its stuck in my head ahahahhaha. well wednesday going out to watch legion with june, cy, sarah, matt, edward, jin swan and joey(maybe) muahahahahahaha. Love this gang of people la, always cracking up lame jokes.

Well today went to the curve after my copywriting class and apparently my copywriting ad idea my lecturer likes it haha and would like to thank adam lee for giving me the banana idea ahahahha. Well went to the curves to help jin swan do this consumer behaviour assigmment then went to ikea to eat meatballs! whooot~ i love meatballs hahahah

Listening to lady gaga newest album whee~ nice beat =P plus on sunday I was so bored at the coffee shop while waiting for the maids to finish cleaning up i end up writing this lame valentine poem thing that I don't I even understand it myself hahaha. Planning to try and write another one that's way better lol, spend more time on it and write it more romantic and all haha

Loving my facebook picture lolx! which is.......



Awesome picture huh? hahahaha I love making people laugh =P

Whoot whoot~

Well today went to work at maya hotel muahahaha, the hotel damn nice but sadly i couldnt make any sales again BLAH! having bad luck at work which is not good lolx. i want the commission hahahahaha. Well didnt do anything productive today, internet line is like so damn effing slow and friends asked me out but i'm didn't want to cause everyone is like going out till late night. Helping out at my grandparents coffee shop tomorrow so don't wanna look like a zombie for them ahahha. Gotta help ma elders =P Think I'm going to play badminton tomorrow hahahha. Haven't start doing on my copywriting tutorial work yet cause I do not wanna look at pictures that I am sure would be disgusting and I haven't found a partner for copywriting yet which kinda sucks but oh well, gonna look around on monday or wednesday.

Well wrote something yesterday which apparently a few people like it lolx. Kinda dark well I think that's all I'm good at when it comes to writing, everytime I write something dark and gloomy there is always a few people that likes it but when it's something else, it doesnt get that much attention hahaha. Well I'll post it out anyway cause maybe you might be interested to know how it is ><

It's called - Lies -

Heartbeats
It's what keep people alive
Where's the life in it
When everything is made of lies

There's people with mask
There's people with insanity
There's people with Depression
Finally there's people with no heart

Where's the joy in it
Nothing is made to be seen
What you see is not what you get
Laughter would just be a means of habit

Everything is broken
Everyone is broken
Truth doesn't matter no more
No mind or heart believe the truth

Promises are broken
None are made to be fulfilled
Cursing is a common scene
Death is a norm

Pray to your god
Fear the darkness
It's everywhere
Look for the light

It's no where to be seen
There ain't hope
There never was any
Everything is build by false pretenses

Lies is what you build your life around
Believe it, swallow it, blend with it
Resistance is futile
For none survive, I was one of them

-Thanks for reading =D hope you enjoy it-

Dance!

Ok I'm addicted to dancing lol... I just can't make my feet move normally no more haha and I like music and all and I feel so relax when I can move just like everyone does haha. Makes me feel I dunno, something hahahahahha well I LOVE DANCING hahahahhahaha... hmm wonder when I'm gonna learn slow dance =P it's a must for me for future purposes muahahahahhahaa

Gonna dance tomorrow too~ wheeeee seriously damn happy cause I'm able to dance again hahaha, don't think I'm gonna get another chance like this outside so gotta appreciate the final moments I have left..

Well tired and sleepy. Gonna sleep now hehe night night people~

Joey Birthday!

Today damn awesome wei lolx went and surprise joey and midnight to wish her happy birthday and she almost slam the door on us AHHAHAHAHAHA funny la! Well spend most of the day with the usual people from yesterday lol! new gang wei =P june, cy,sarah(mention now mention now =P), matthew, edward, joey and jin swan hahahahaha. Plus they rape my car somemore... sad wei my car cried cause she lost her virginity to a bunch of people ahhahaha.

Having damn alot of fun and laughter with this people la, can laugh till stomach pain hahaha.. Well kinda sad to be the 1st one having to go home but what to do since I live so damn far >.< oh well there's always next time and tomorrow dance again! whoot i loveeeee dancing hahahhaa

well fulfilling my promise, here ghost and angel.

I'm not seen by people
You're the one they believe in
I am just a menace to them, a darkness
You're their light, their hope

I've done so many mistakes
That's why I'm like this
No one can see me or feel me
Not even you

You're there for them
Shining, smiling, merciful
You make the sun look tame
Everyone loves you

I've been wandering around
Trying to reach out to the stars
Then I saw you
I met you, talk to you

I'm seeing you
Thinking of you
Imagining you
I wanna dance with you

Wishing you could see me
Just look at me
Not like the others do
Just me for who I really am

I'm a ghost
I'm wandering around looking
Looking for something..
That something is you

You're an angel
You shine your shiny light on people
You bring smiles and hope to the darkness
Yet I don't think you see me

I'm a ghost
You're an angel
I long to touch you
But too far you are to reach

Off with your wings
Mercifully over everywhere
I stare at you from a distance
For you can't see me

I'm just a ghost
Endlessly following you
Cause I finally found you
My Angel, my light

*in a way kinda realize that I can't fully get my jokes out or speak much with the person that interest me =P but i'll learn one day hopefully hahah.*

100th post!

Well this is a day to be remembered. Why? Because one, this is my 100th post! lolx!! and I had a bunch of fun with june, cy, matthew, melody, sarah, jin swan, marcus, edward and joey today hahaha. Steamboat was awesome especially eating it when you made it with your own hands. Well I ate and ate and ate and ate and ate but it never stops coming LOL! In the end when the noodles finally came in, I couldn't take another bite. Yes I was that full! hahahahaha.

Well today is a good day as my mom's friend decided to help pay half of my college fees till my loan comes in which mean I don't need to get deferred to the next semester whee~ Well tomorrow gonna dance the dance and then hopefully dinner with these bunch of people i mention haha.

Well that's all and I just wrote something about a ghost and angel, kinda realise I don't need to be emo to write hahahah will post it tomorrow~ kinda tired today

Nightz

Sherlock Holmes again

Today after class straight went to The Curve with edward, carmen, nadhirah and yuen yim. Carmen driving is like super awesome freaking scary lolx! Worst than mine alot wei, imagine that hahahaha well mine has improved alot cause I don't enjoy driving like a mad man anymore. Well we watch sherlock holmes and it was funny ahaha enjoyed watching it again a 2nd time. hahaha I'm apparently a freak of nature to everyone wheeee~ in another words it means I'm special and me likey!

Well after the movie we had lunch at Mcd then went home after that. Had a blast and going for a steamboat and Matthew's house tomorrow woohoo.. now how I'm gonna go home tomorrow haahahahahahah... well improvised I'm good at.. i think hahaha and I kinda enjoyed that people like my writing, gives me a sense of umm satisfaction that it's not a piece of crap like I always thought it was.

Well time to continue my assignment which I know I'm gonna burn a lot of midnight oil tomorrow lolx. Wish me luck and all.. Kinda wish something didn't had to turn out the way it is now.

Toys

Strings on your back
Like a doll with hooks
A puppet with ropes
Like a shirt buttoned up

Controlled with orders
Following without retaliating
Used and used over like a chair
Freedom never in sight

Believe in higher power
Praying for a savior
Releasing you from your torment
Agony your heart holds

Days passed
Weeks passed
Months passed
Years passed by

Where is your savior
Every night you pray with no hesitations
Didn't they say as long as you believe he will be by your side
"Oh hero where thou art you" you cried

Door opening again
The bright light that blinds your eyes
Picked up again
Strings playing as you entertain those brats

You just wanna take it off
Tear your heart out
Spear your head to a knife
Before it starts

Before the grubby little hands come
Before you get dragged around again
Close your eyes
As kids picked you up and tear each sewn torn over again

- I was writing this while waiting for the shop to close down at my uncle's coffee shop~ was just experimenting with it hahahaha and now edward says he might use this to write a song HAHAHAHAHA! my 1st song oooo lala! -

MWD class

Well learn some stuff in class today hahahaha, and created some stuff and posted on facebook lolx! I draw Sarah Lim and she drew me and I end up getting curly hair and a mole lolx. Damn awesome wei, I made a superman with his cape flying around like a movie!!

Went to one utama to pick my lil bro up then went to bangsar for my work training today, had fun and tomorrow I must at least get 1 person.. haha my goal for tomorrow and then I can feel proud bout myself whee~ Gonna be working from 8-6/7 tomorrow and then gonna chill around klcc with su and maybe some of the others after work hahah since we working at klcc.

Well kinda been facing this teeny weeny self confidence thing thing but it can't be help if i stay at malaysia.. sadzz oh well have to see wat the future holds for me~ Maybe I'll end up going Aussie after all

Well Nightz~ that's all for now

Have I found "you"

Staring at the stars
With this big eyes
Thoughts floating through my mind
Never without you that's absent

Wondering much
Questioning myself
Why is it still you
What's with me on you

Is it true
Have I finally found "you"
"you" who is meant for me
One that completes me

But it might be an illusion
Just as a hungry man sees food everywhere
I could be craving
The love of a person

Under this sky
I stare again
Into the deep universe
I stare

Time is all I need
That's what I said
Yet the same question lurking around
Have I found "you"

It's a chance I gotta take
I don't wanna try no more
For it's not a risk that's worth taking
An illusion is what I see

I have to think so
For a risk that big is not worth it
Have I found "you"
Is something I should forget

Nothing I have believed
So why this
Have I found "you
Is just another fake belief

Have I found "you"
An illusion for a man
Craving for love
Hunger my mind feed me

Endure I will
For I have never found you

*Heheheheheheheh kinda like my first romance post for quite sometime hahaha. Well I would like to thank yuen yim for introducing me the song flightless bird, american mouth because that's the song that gave me the idea to write this hahahahaha.*

Well today I was at college since 8.30am and only reach home at 11.30pm =P YES! I was at college the whole day because..... I'M DANCING AGAIN WHOOOT! hahah love dancing plus the people there all damn hyper wei ahahahahaha!

Well tired but I wish someone would teach me to dance more better and I would like to thank Kelvin Ng for teaching me C-Walk as well as popping hahahaha though me still noob...

Well that's all I guess I can't stop listening to flightless bird, american youth aahhh.. it's just so damn good.. hahaha nightz people =P hope to hear from u people who i dun see much soon

Music

Today was suppose to go M.O.S but I didn't go cause in the end they wanted to open bottle and I only thought they were going there to dance.. so I decided to go college and dance since it's all I ever wanted but then hahaha my friend didn't show up haiz... So went home but on the way met some friends and yam cha with me awhile.

Well today is pasar malam night and I didn't go out lol.. which has been awhile since almost every pasar malam night I'm out.. I actually have money now well enough for myself and I'm saving them up for well bills and to support myself cause I'm not really sure that my allowance will be confirm on that exact date. Well I don't mind support myself at all ahahhaa.

Got blasted by jenn and christine yesterday and i have to say christine is way more scarier than jenn last night.. but that's what friends do if you think about it, if thy didn't care they would most probably just forget about me.

Writing without using emoticons is HARD! I'm so used to using them hahahaha. Well waiting for my twilight soundtrack to finish downloading~ Hmm have to start shopping for CNY clothes soon, anyone care to join me? hahaha my fashion sense suck and would not mind some critics lol..

Kinda realise that, while i was depressed as hell I was able to write, thought of a full sentence just by looking or listening to a single word but now that I'm well you can better off haha I can't write or have thoughts of those.. I ain't saying I wanna be depressed.. heck I'm scared to be depressed.. it wasn't a good time for me but I kinda missed having those kinda special thoughts.. ahaha but oh well being happy just like everyone else is better for me =D

Well 2010 is still looking good for now hahaha, having awesome friends is well just plain awesome... ok... now to continue waiting for my music and I am now liking my current song that's playing in my blog hahahahah so sooooothing!



nightz~

Clothes and Movies

Lolx as I said I was gonna change my dressing styles and I got maself a white shirt.. yes a white shirt LOL! more to come soon I hope, working on saturday at klcc and then after the work me and su and hopefully more ppl gonna join us for movie =D hahaha can't use much money for now cause gotta save up for new clothes b4 chinese new year.

HEHEHEHEHEHE still experimenting with what kind of hairstyles i can do with my weird hair cut lolx..

-End-

Broken People

Well am back home from badminton and I think my arm muscle gonna hurt tomorrow lolx cause I keep using full strength to smash XD. Well read an article today on the newspaper and it's kinda well meaningful in a way. It says that no matter who you are there is some part of you that is broken. It depends just how many pieces there are and most people just shrug it off and pretend that nothing is wrong with them (example = me). That broken piece just lie there dormant and it'll keep on stronger in a way till one day it will burst out. The article also gave a couple of examples and it ain't pretty O_O. Seeing a psychiatrist MAY only help but it depends on the people themselves...

Well on new year eve I've made my resolution to always think positive and think of the bright side of things and never let anything bring me down but the truth is... thinking positive is just another way of leaving the problem aside. I finally know what Jenn meant on our last phone call, bout how I always leave whatever is bothering me alone and whine and complain bout it but never do anything. I just shrug it off now and I've actually been doing it since my dad passed away and it finally got strong enough to keep me awake sometimes at night.

Well I finally understand things I guess... I just need a bit of tips on what to do once in a while and what am I really doing. Yes.. I'm that clueless but that's me in a way lolx.. I never know what to do with myself but I'm trying XD that's why the new hairstyle and I'm gonna shop for other colours but black well maybe a few black but more colours this time XD gotta make myself more presentable for everyone..

And finally the thing is, I finally know that no one ever tried to hurt me, it's either I hurt them too much or I pushed them aside too far and that's why I was left alone here. Well not gonna try and let that happen again.. Guess I either gotta try and contact the people again and say I'm sorry or just move on... Damn any tips people? haha I'm asking for help here =P

Well tomorrow is another to look forward to. Keep telling myself this and I've been getting more and more brighter instead of gloomy days.

That's all for now and I'm gonna use what suemitraa teach me which she saw from gossip girl

xoxo - You know you love me

HAHAHAHAHAH!

January 9 2010

The day where churches are being torched down and as rumors or not cars are being smashed on any single sing of Christianity. Things are starting to get out of control and all the government do is talk talk talk with not a tiny single action at all from my point of view. Sooner or later may 13 will happen again and this time we may say goodbye to Malaysia for good. A term I would like to shout at the government if I could * PERGI TIDUR LA, HARI HARI TIDUR AJE! TAK PE BUAT APA TIDUR AJE! CIBAI BETUAL KAME NI!* XD human emotions are deadly things especially anger

Well today is an awesome day hahahaha met quite a few people which are mostly girls hahahahaha!! THANK YOU EDWARD! =P Going to watch sherlock holmes with edward, nadhirah and carmen on monday. Whee~ then met a kedah girl thanks to suemitraa XD hahahah and we're going kedah during our sem break just to chill with her and edward is coming along whooot! Smoked 2 sticks of ciggy just to socialise with people O_O dangerous habit it is =.= but part of life as a friend of mine say if u wanna build contact never reject whatever they offer or it may ruin your chance to gain a contact.

Well tomorrow or rather today I'm gonna work on my part time job which is getting more and more awesome well to me I guess cause I just gotta talk to people and I enjoy talking to people who know me ahahaha well mostly crapping which is good lolx! Well wish me good luck people cause I need it and hopefully I'm gonna meet more people whee~

Night and may Christians find peace soon from this chaos. One of the reason I'm an atheist and hate my ex-religion because of this kind of behavior. Again may all Christians out there be safe especially my friend whom I care for losing one of you would not be easy to handle. Even one's we've lost contact with for years or months or weeks I'm still there XD PRAY PEOPLE PRAY!

Ok getting lame.. blame sleepiness! plus family issues coming up again but I've settled it I guess but it ain't over... lucky it's just something small... sooner or later which I hope not a bigger one will come.. well hope i can settle that too =P CRAP! advertisement assigment zzz... tmr! XD

-End-

My tag line =D

Today in class was asked to create a tag line for our-self and mine was -Damn the Line, Love the Beat* which means don't follow the flow but follow your own way, create your own music, create your own style etc etc. Then went to work on my 1st day, it is an effing easy job AHAHAH! Most of the things I only did was sit down and chat with Su. God I love this job, plus I'm hoping I'm allowed to use this job to skip internship that way I am able to save about 1k for the dumb fees of internship zzz..

Well came back happy and abit tired, had fun chatting with mom and lil bro haha. Apparently my bro got a job at one utama which pays rm10 per hour and he only has to work 6 hours a day for just two weeks. He's working at Ogawa and each chair he manage to sell, his comission will be aroumd rm300-400 hahaha. Am happy for him =D. My relationship with my lil bro has become closer drastically through the times we've been through. Can't wish for anyone else besides him to have a day of non-stop laughter with no matter how down I am =D.

I'm having an awesome time since new year eve and I'm happy, everything is starting to slow down and cool down. Things are starting to look good and I hope this goes on. Su isn't having the best of luck for now but I hope things will turn out better for him hahaha.

Well came home and on twitter, saw something kinda depressing, the way that person react over just the mention of my name together with that person's name. hahaha been dreaming too much of ever getting back as close as we used to. I was dumb and naive and I guess I still am but I guess we can't always expect everything to work out ahhahahaha. Stop following that person, gotta start moving on if just the mention of a name sends that person that way wheee~ Nothing's gonna bring this smile down on my no more, better yet I'm still smiling now on how much fun I'm gonna have with the plans I made.

Dinner with Edward and the gang, late night movie with Su and of course go through college life while savouring every moment I have. Life is good if you look at the bright side of it. My motto works for me and my tag line will be what I'm gonna live on. Mr Hardip is a good lecturer =D

Nights people

-End-

College

Well classes starts again tomorrow and I'm still in my holiday mood lolx but I kinda want college to start cause I am seriously unproductive at home! Can't wait to see everyone again in a way and start hanging out instead of dying at home lolx. Tomorrow is my 1st day at work at ma part time job and I seriously hope I can do a good job >< the commission is awesome if you can get it sold hahahaha

Well got myself a haircut and I can make my hair into a mohawk~ wheee~ something I've never tried before muahahahaha. New year, New look. Hopefully it looks good on me xD

That's all~

-End-

1st nightmare in ages

Lolx had a nightmare well not really cause I didn't really woke up but I remember it clearly and it's something I hope it wouldn't happen XD. In this nightmare I lost a good friend of mine due to some arguements but can't remember what we were arguing about ahahhahaha. Usually I get dreamless sleeps but I considering this is a new year and I'm seeing things in a different way there's bound to be some changes. Well thing are seriously finally looking good lolx, I'm getting my allowance again but only after chinese new year ahahha which is when I'm gonna get my ear pierce and most prob my tattoo. wheeee~ Well for this month I still gotta hang on with whatever few bucks I have left but I can do it lolx. If I can survive for 4 months last year I'm sure I can survive 1 more months!

Been listening to some old songs and this song kinda made me miss my dad, made me wonder whether am I the son he wanted me to be or did I somehow drift off the path he wanted me to be on? Will never know I guess.. well you people with both your parents, start appreciating them more, I miss my dad alot and my mom's not home most of the time anymore.. haiz but still I know she's just trying to make me and my lil bro life more comfortable so yeah~ Gotta look at the bright side and be optimistic! my motto and it suits me perfectly =D.

Another song that kinda made me miss some other people was everytime haha. The times was bad but the ones that cared was there and I kinda miss that and I don't really mind going back then for just one day just to hang with them 1 more time. At least I know that I was never left alone and I probably still ain't aahahahahhahaha! College starting soon >.< hope I can ace this sem too.. nah I need to ace this sem lolx

Bloggie!

I like blogging >.> hahaha as you can see I almost update it everyday xD well I guess cause this is something like my diary where I'm writing about my life and I like it. Keeps things in order lolx plus I enjoy just writing stuff especially stories! XD Just came back from playing left 4 dead 2 actually with bryan and kok pin. Been ages since I've seen bryan lolx. Well I'm hopping the job that I was accepted to still wants me cause they haven't called me when they said they would or email me. Gonna call them on monday to make sure that I'm still wanted cause I really need a job lol.. Need that laptop for my own purpose cause my bro is starting college soon and we can't share 1 computer all the time for work.

Well don't really have much to say already. Missing some people XD loads actually~ hahaha can't wait to go back to college and re-socialised!

Bloody Rose

What if the person you've trusted just disappeared
What if the person you've always depended on just vanished
What if without that person you can't get a hold of things anymore
What if you just lose hold of what's been keeping you... alive

A smile on your face yet pain in the heart
Jokes comes pouring out of your mouth yet agony is what you feel
Having fun is what you're showing but only thing is loneliness in your mind
Thinking deeply every second you're left alone just to say you're day dreaming

Palms on your face as if something is breaking apart
Arms around yourself just to keep that composure of yourself
Taking every bit of strength just to get through another day
Never ending pain that's been piercing through the heart

Usual acts are coming out the wrong way
Plans backfired and all you feel is the agony inside
Trying and acting but never working
Numbness is all you wish for, but it never comes

Hope is what you wish for
Believing in something is what you can't bring yourself to do
Finding that hand to hold is becoming harder
Looking for the mind and heart that shoulder the pain together is not around

Hugging yourself is all that's left you can do
Telling yourself that everything's gonna be alright
Watching everything breaking and falling around you
Just standing alone in a field with a bloody rose

Hoping.. Wishing.. that the one to accept that bloody rose would appear
To hold your hand, to stand beside you, to give back something to believe in

*I really like this, the one I wrote.. I love every single part of it except the ending. I feel like something's missing but hey if you guys can gimme a comment on what I should add or shouldn't for the ending then please feel free. Well the 1st day of the new year is over and I'm starting to like who I've become, The resolution I made is working for me and I finally found something I've finally made a right decision too haha. Getting some self-confidence back and hell yeah I'm enjoying my life right now.* Well this is me out and take care people XD enjoy life, you only live once.