A sign please..

Would you give me a sign? A tiny little sign at least to show that you're still here thinking of us? of me? I miss you alot and I really dunno what to do anymore. I'm really lost and no matter what I do I just don't seem to find the point of it..

I just wish you were still here, that I can celebrate all this special celebrations and occasions with you. There are so many "what if" questions in my head and scenarios that I really am losing it day by day. Nothing works anymore and all I really want right now is whether you're still there, up there, protecting us, looking after us but most of all..

Am I the son you wanted me to be? Have I disappointed you? Because I do care even though I don't show, because I miss you so much even if I said I don't because you're the only one I never had a chance to appreciate... Sometimes it's so tempting to just join you. Because I really wanna be with you but I know it's not the right thing to do and I'm sure you won't want be to join you so soon too but... it's... just..soo... tempting..

I'm still keeping everything inside because I need to be strong just like you used to be. To always be the one that keeps the one I care going and happy. To show them that there is nothing to worry about and there isn't. I'll make sure that they will never see the helpless side of me. The lonely side but still I wish you were still here...

I'm getting this tattoo for you and only you. There's nothing else I can do much but with this you'll forever be in my mind and my body. That's how much I missed you, more than my life..

So please give me a sign... to just show that I'm still the son you love...