Year 2010. Who I am.

Well today I spend my last day of 2009 with my best friend su loy chuan =D. We are like none related brothers hahaha, had some awesome heart to heart talk and the jokes non stop lolx! It was all laugh and fun. We watched the movie sherlock holmes and laugh are ass off on how effing broke we are lolx! Had to wait for the movie for 5 hours which we watch at belakong jusco and we spend that time by me having starbucks and him having to enjoy the luxury of wifi hahaha. Played poker which I still don't understand how to play but we laugh and enjoyed ourself all the more. Met pak onn there and after the movie bump into my primary school friend justin low!! Damn man the people I've not been hanging with lolx.. Well it was an awesome start for me and a good night.

Well I finally found out who I really am. I'm the guy that's always optimistic even at my worst moment at that certain period there are still times when my optimistic mind would take over ahahah. I'm the one that will always be optimistic, the one that has a smile on my face and the loudest laugh you will ever hear cause that's who I am and how I am. My laugh is what makes me feel me, my smile is how I try to make people around me feel comfortable. I crack the lamest jokes ever and may be the most annoying person at times but I mean well and I will always be that way. People may not understand me, even the ones which I thought did. They all misunderstood but true friends they will stick by you no matter what. xD I can be emotional at times but that's my weakness as I am not perfect. I enjoy writing which I'm gonna start doing again soon once I get a notebook for myself, I love reading novels and I enjoy things most people don't. I think of the weirdest of lamest things sometimes but that's how unique my mind works.

I used to depend on people especially the one who I taught really understood me to ease the pain in me but in the end it didn't. Took me awhile and some sacrifices to finally know what I am and what it takes to get that real smile on my face. It took me to find out that no one understands me but I'm fine with that, everyone is different and unique in their own way. One just have to think positive and look in the bright side of life and who they are. If a person doesn't wants you or can't accept you for the way you are, then that is their lost for every person they kick out of their life, they lose a true unique person.

This is effing long but yeah, I finally found out who I really am. Would like to thank Su loy Chuan for always being there for me even though I can be the most annoying person at times or the one who complains my problems too. You are a true friend. I also find out, you can't depend on people for your problems, you just need to solve it yourself. The one person you can only rely on is yourself but friends out there will always be behind you supporting you.

Happy New Year and have a great 2010 year people, I know I am. For I finally found myself, part of it but I will keep on being who I am for this is me and no one can change that fact. Tomorrow I'm gonna post this thing I wrote which I really really like. It sounds emo and all but I really like it except the ending though lolx.

Resolution O_O?

Well I'm gonna try to not always feel down and depressed and not do anything about it lolx. bout time i guess that i see things this way.. I don't think it's gonna be easy but I have to do this if I wanna stop being who I am now. Well I guess you guys are gonna see the new me soon lolx. Needa get ma groove back and stop depending on liquor and ciggy's for my problems. Gotta solve them so yea this is ma 1st new year resolution in my whole life and I'm gonna stick to it till it's done XD! happy new year people and thanks for the advice even though you ain't gonna talk to me no more lolx XD

XD!!

HAPPY BURTHDAY WAFI! stop drinking milo or you'll become more noob xD and the chocolates are mine!! not yours! ever! XD

Alvin!

Watch Alvin and the chipmunks today with su and nigel xD whee! nigel can get me into events for free if he wants to lolx. i needa build up my contacts for future work purposes >.<.. now kinda interested to intern in a event magazine so that i can enter the events for free but i wont be getting any pay though which is the down side. Had an awesome day with them XD kinda feel like starting a blog bout event too but i gotta get at least a rm1000 dslr camera lolx.. maybe if i start working in my new job i can awesomely get the cash xD

Well woke up today and i felt fucked up lolx. kinda a 1st for me >.< anyway not gonna go moody over something insignificant like that XD. Going out on the 31st of december night xD imma suppose to invite some girls over so if there are any female readers out there who are interested please gimme a call ahahahhaa. leave a comment on the chat box if ya dun have my number O_O males are invited too but they want female cause nigel's gf doesnt want to be the only girl there xD

Ok.. gonna start getting my emotions controlled. been feeling so down lately. Guess of all the things that are happening and the things that I caused to happen but anyway what's done is done and I gotta start getting things controlled. Just a matter of time i guess

Haiz...

So confused and kinda annoyed with myself. Don't fucking understand why must I always let myself to be so vulnerable, always letting myself be the one that has to fucking make things right again when it was never my fault at all.. Sucks being the nice guy, well gave all my money to my lil bro cause he wanted to go out. I know I seem too nice but I ain't, too fucked up in my mind to know what I want or should be doing.

Gotta start from now on, no more fucking being vulnerable to anyone, no more fucking letting people get into my mind too easily and no more fucking trusting people too easily. I'm too fucked up to think straight now and I don't really give a shit.

Have to start putting it back now, being somebody I'm not used to ain't a good thing. Being a fake is much more acceptable to society.. lolx that kinda sucks much. Got an idea on what I want for my tattoo, not gonna do fonts, a picture says a thousand words.

Swearing non-stop now xD no thanks to Dexter's sister. lolx.. lame I know but who gives a fuck, I know I shouldn't be giving a fucking damn at all and I ain't going to no more. All I ever need is the people that can fucking accept me the way I am no matter how fucked up I am or will be. Who cares if I'm fucking better before, I am who I fucking am now and if ya don't fucking like it then fuck off. Simple as that.

Next wed, gonna watch sherlock holmes! whoot! this is fucking good news ahahahhaha. and I start college next week.. fuck.... Malaysian Studies I fucking hate you =D

BAH! HAH! oooh!

Well just came back from mid valley with su. We planned to go leisure mall and just head to starbucks to chill and chat but end up parking full so we went to the next nearest shopping mall.... MID VALLEY! ahhahaa.. parking was practically.. easy to look at movie was... packed =.= we wanted to watch sherlocks holmes but end up watching cirque du freak because it was sold out. Well i LOVE the book and the movie totally changed everything, they only use the characters name so yea it wasnt what i expected but it's still good XD. we totally enjoyed the movie. besides movie we went for pool and su treat lolx and starbucks XD. I NEED MA MONTHLY starbucks ahhahahaha... i missed my starbucks for 2 months already.. ahh

Well we chit and chat our problems and lifes and yeah.. what would I do without you dude. Thanks for being there with me XD. Now I'm gonna bang my head a couple of times before I can hit the bed XD. Insomnia is back~ FML

Merry Christmas

Hey people I know it's early but merry christmas. Not really gonna enjoy this christmas i guess but well I'll find a way to salvage it haha. If I ain't wrong I think she finally reach bout a 100k.. something something none of you will know xD

Well really needed to talk to somebody today after that call.. and there wasn't really anyone I can trust with this information so I kept it all inside xD i have trust issues~ people i do trust.. well they come and go don't they? hahahahahaha you make friend you lose friends you make new friends. that's life.

Gotta learn to keep things to myself again, was a mistake to start letting people know my problems.. not gonna happen a 2nd time again. hahahahahaha cant wait for tomorrows starbuck session! ahhh christmas and starbucks goes well together =D.

Hope all you people have a happy and blessed christmas! everyone deserves a white christmas instead of a black one.

Bodyguards and Assasins

Today I watched bodyguards and assassins with roy and su at cineleisure hehehehehehhee.. would like to thank roy for inviting me to have banana leaf rice with him and umm kdu law lecturer who is my friend too >,< sorry i cant remember ur name XD.. well me and su went to meet up with roy they all at kdu and we drove to eat banana leaf rice at kanana curry house (hope i spell it correctly)

Then after lunch we went to watch movie at cineleisure~ the movie was effing awesome! seriously enjoyed it and its kinda touching.. and the ending is seriously sad.. haiz i wanna watch it again but its just so SAD! seriously people go watch that show! its worth ur money...

Anyway around 6pm we started our journey back.. I cant tell the the effing jam we had to face! only reach home around 8.45pm! seriously it was that bad.. we end up using some random road and it turn out to be a road back home LOL! so me n su learned a new road hahahahah.

Anyway reached home and receive a call.. it wasnt good news at all.. kinda ruin the mood but oh well life cant always be happy ending.. I just want it to end.. but it seems to keep on getting worst and worst no matter how much i wish for it to end...

Well that's all for now.. hopefully tomorrow is a better day =D

Job!

I have a job! whoot finally haha.. can slowly save up for a laptop that i always wanted and then maybe a new phone but have to settle some debts 1st lolx ..all the lunch and dinners i owe XD. its an alright day for me today lolx.. i hope by having this means i can make my life and my family better =D.. gotta learn to keep thinking optimistic instead of being down >.< well we all make mistakes?

Going for banana leaf rice tomorrow with su and roy. Hopefully more people will join cause the more the merrier ahah.. just gimme a call or sms if u wanna join me! seriously i want u there XD whoever is reading this~

Hopefully

Gonna go for an interview tomorrow at bangsar for a event assistant job xD.. hope i get it cause i need the cash and i hope my luck starting to turn around by this call.. been having shitty luck. ahhh i need to find out where i can download full albums now.. i need ma daily dose of music xD

Changing

Well 1st of all.. I need to get myself out of this hole.. hoping to get some help if its possible.. just remind me how i used to be.. I need to do this.. I've been going through this too long already.. Needa start looking for a different route. hope whoever you are help me if u care.

I need to get all this on me oganized and destroyed lolx.. i guess this is the 1st step?

Decisions decisions

Gonna start giving up.. knew I should have done long ago but for some reason I kept myself from doing it.. no point going on now as it's obvious I ain't gonna be successful.. oh well, creating pain for myself isn't something new. XD life goes on, sleepless nights continue like tonight... Can't get myself to stop thinking bout shit and shit and yes more shit... I just want someone to hear me out but yeah I stop myself from doing that.. cause in the end I got sick of it.. sick of trying to find myself in a way.. Hmm in a way I'm something like a mirror I guess.. reflecting what people want to see instead..(from bandslam) =D awesome show hahaha... In a way, I kinda wish I don't have to depend on people so much no more..

Yup.. guess this is what I gotta do.. here comes the unknown numbers of suffering day and nights XD nothing new there. But I had loads of fun with su and his gang tonight, pool does wonders to someone and the smell of ciggy is refreshing in a way ahahahahhahaha didn't smoke though XD i'm good! Nightz~

Hmm?

In a way.. don't really know myself anymore.. as some people say... i'm changing but for the worst.. dun really notice it and i have been trying to avoid sleep as much as possible.. doing things i never thought i would ever do for example smoking or driving extremely fast and dangerous with people on board... I know I'm losing myself but I never really notice much of it till it's too late I guess... Kinda found out why I've been avoiding sleep as much as I can.. I feel vulnerable when I sleep.. I hate being vulnerable.. Guess I've been trying to be the strong one in the family.. the so called "man of the family" that I unconsciously block myself from feeling weak, from showing it to people.. Been crying in the middle of the night a couple of times but it's cause I was sure everyone was asleep.. Other than that.. this and deviantart are the only place I let myself loose... my emotions out.. I'm really sorry for all the hurt I've caused to my friends but I'm not sure if even realizing this would help me get back to the old me.. Will try but no guarantees..

That's all for how I feel today lolx.. XD

Just break it apart

Doesn't matter much no more, nothing works on me at all. Wonders what I'm suppose to be doing.. hmm.. been craving a ciggy till now... I feel so fragile on the inside i mean ahahahhahahaha. I'm laughing cause I don't care anymore. I'm kinda sick of hoping that it would come out... always in the end disappointing me.. And I don't allow myself to feel. I slap myself silly if I do. I don't want to feel no more. In a way, I've took too much that I could handle. Hah... wonder who's gonna say I told you so.. can't remember who but I know it's somebody.. dun care.. WHEEE~ dun have a fucking body clock no more.. cant sleep since... september ahahhahahahahaha like i said. I'm screwed up =p and i can still smile wheee~ see u petty humans =D dun be like me

Unimaginable

Just came back from Su and the gang =x... they knew what I was gonna do and didnt agreed to it but I still did... smoked a cigg.. dunhill if i'm not wrong lolx... it was 50 50 chance cause i was doing it alone at home... in the end decided i need something that'll calm me down.. it didnt work.. wasnt suppose to smoke the whole thing but i did... i'm screwed.. all i get from that ciggy was just a weird taste in my mouth.. was expecting to choke or cough or whatever 1st timers do... i didnt lolx.. seriously i'm fucked up =D i need help which my mom wanna bring me to =x professional help i mean ahahahahaha.. .dun give a damn i dun deserve to be wasted money on... i think she knows somethings wrong with me.. not sure cause i never really show whats bothering me XD not even my closest friend.. habit.. oh well.. see whether i'll continue smoking or not..

Storm Warrior 2 XD

I want to watch storm warrior 2!! have to start looking and booking for people before they watch without me lolx.. anyway been waking up early and going out jogging with kok pin then hang at his house dancing ahahahahah XD good workout wei! anyway now my sleeping time is during the evening XD cause that's when i feel sleepy lolx.. sad huh?

Bah no money at all and I have no effing tools to take a picture of myself so i can apply part time jobs.. need to go hunt for friends with camera phone ady ahahahahhaha.. this is depressing wei T_T

Stress Release

I need to find something to help release stress xD cigarette sounds interesting lolx.. but I'll see 1st xD coming home only feels like coming home to get stressed up and annoyed... so effing broke i cant even afford 1 teh tarik.. yes that's how broke i am now sadly.. haiz.. oh well at least i have awesome friends XD and back to jogging and dancing tmr lolx

Bad day

Bah.. feel like I've been screwing up all day.. cant get things to work properly... feels like what I've been doing all my life lolx.. yea it;s nothing to laugh about huh... i'm tired of shit.. shouldnt say it here haha.. not good to put my problems out.. people will start thinking i'm emo again =.=||..

Oh well... if you need someone to make your life sucks you know who to call.. haahaha.. ya well i dun really write for you people but for myself =P.. well i just wanna get off that i've been screwing everything up lolx.. sometimes i wonder how do people even stand being around me..

ok enuf =P time to read my book and go off to my lala land XD better than moping around..

laugh

ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahah! i'm going crazy =P who gives a damn wheeeeeeee~ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH FUCK U! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOOOOOOOB

AHAHAHAHAHAHHA! what's even better? something happen to my family =D yes which is fucking awesome! ahahahahahahahhaa whoot! If you think your life sucks? think again my LIFE IS FUCKING AWESOME! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH LOL LOL LOL

Today is a bad night =P

If you think two is better than one.. yes i'm listening to that song now.. then 3 is even better and 4 is like WHOOT!! hahahahah the more the merrier right? XD trying to find some part time job so i can get some cash and get my ear piercing and possible my tattoo.. oh yeah my chivas too =D.. owe a few ppl money cause of the effing brokeness i am facing XD.. i am damn stress up at home that ciggs are tempting me cause ppl are telling me its stress releasing and i'm curious LOL ... you only live once right? if ya meant to die ya meant to die... sooner or later u gotta die either way =D... thats all~ whee tmr gonna go for ma jogging and january will be the month i offcially start going to gym

FREEDOM!

FREEDOM WHOOOT! finally finals are over and i can seriously relax... been gaming ever since the finals are over hahahahaha its my way of chilling =P wanna go out instead but short on cash.. very short lolx.. trying to look for part time jobs that are available... anyway going to walkabrella whee~ gonna WALk and WALK and WALK! hahahahaha see u people who are going there~

Sleeping Time

I hate it now when it's time for me to sleep, the things I faced it's not easy to contain, I don't sleep much. 4 hours is more then enough as I usually get restless sleeps now. Oh well.. thought of this certain words that I may wanna do as my 1st tattoo but still thinking bout it.

Exams are coming... hoping I can ace them this time then it's time to relax and go clubbing... well I prefer just drinking till I get effing wasted WHEEEE~

Exams and Pool

Just came back from pool with su and his friends XD my friends as well lolx... anyway thanks su for paying for me >.<>.> its the most hardest finals i ever faced... damn many things to read up

Single life?

Well for starters... single life sucks.. cause i'm always feeling lonely and like there's something missing in my life lol... kinda hoping to find someone I can feel special again >.< and I know everyone does.. no one likes being alone...

ooohhhhh well... should focus more on my weight lost diet regime, my appearance and my finals now lolx! but it's just nagging at the back of your head all the time... ever get that?

oh well had an ok ok day~ had mamak food all day wei! feel fat >.< ahaah ok that's all for now~ short post only

My Style~

Well I really think I found what I like in style lolx.. I seriously like goth/emo style.. it seriously attracts me. Still haven't get my ear piercing which is sad since it is only gonna cost rm15 =.=|| Seriously short on cash this whole year... but I'm still effing going out XD I can't stand the atmosphere at home~

Anyway bout this style.. it;s the hair that attracts me most lolx... but I don't know if it suits me or not but screw it I'm gonna do what I like XD no more following people's opinion or what they like..

Was out with Kenneth and Kok Pin awhile ago and we had mamak and went to CC for dota-ing.. din touch that game for a long long time lolx... end up losing all the games hahahahaha.. Before that went and have ice cream~ with jenn right after dinner lolx.. i know i know.. fattening but i gotta enjoy life right? XD

Anyway that's all for now.. really interested in emo/goth styles and i want a tattoo LOL.. I want stuff that I want and not what people say it's good or bad or whatever shit xD INDEPENDENT WEI! hahaha

ZzZzZ? O_O

Can't think of a title.. so end up with this. Anyway I kinda feel.. well... lonely and insecure.. really really insecure... going out everyday is the only solution I've found to keep it in bay XD cause being out and not being here doesn't make me think much lolx.. i can't think as in if i think.. it won't end up good.. aahh fuck this.. screwed myself up too much ady

Grave

Feels like I'm digging my own grave but don't really care lolx.. Well today was the examination and I think I failed it lolx.. I hate history so you can't blame me for not being able to remember what happened in this country like 60-70 years ago.. What's happened stays there it doesn't come to me if it's past the life span of my life! lolx

Thought it would help nia.. but it only made things worst.. been getting this and that and I'm tired of trying to correct things ady.. sian ady XD guess i give up too easily sometimes~ oh well life goes on =D

*happy face* at least i still have awesome friends lolx

ok day~

Today is an alright day lolx.. i LIKE my hair XD it may look the same to everyone and i mean everyone =.=|| but i like it lolx even though to me there's a difference.. anyway today was alright and everything..

Well I'm dealing with shit as usual.. home is not home anymore sadly.. but it's still home.. anyway tonight su was awesome lolx.. talked bout our problems and made awesomely lame jokes and bullshit all the way XD hahaha

He treat me mamak and shared with me his starbucks green tea... awesome dude~ will treat u when i have the money. Hope you get will from your sickness soon and thanks for being able to be there for me while i talked non stop bout my problems.. and giving all the advices.. Wish i can help with yours though..

Anyway awesome day~ hopefully tmr's malaysian studies exam i can ace it =x

Think nicely..

Been thinking bout it for awhile... It's hard to do it but I may need to considering how I've been for the past few days.. Besides that there's also the tattoo and the type of piercing i gonna get lolx.. ahh and hair cut.. but put that aside.. i need to think things through and it ain't gonna be easy.. why must everything be so hard huh?

Why?

Why do I even bother? *knock knock* it's a waste of time, get that into your head please.

Sleepy!

Tired.. no more like exhausted. Not been getting any good sleep lately considering it's almost the end of the semester which is when most of the assignments are due. Well yesterday was kinda a fun day lolx..

Friday the 13th~ so called bad luck day if ya believe it that is. Anyway after class i met up with jenn at time square where she bought me lunch. THANKS!! ahha.. then we chilled around, look for Su at his work place then went to pavilion and get our movie tickets. We wanted to watch 2012 but sadly there wasn't any seats left so we bought phobia 2 and it was a night movie =P hahaha. I find the show FUNNEH! certain parts will make you jump but it wasn;t that scary at all.

So around 6.45pm only then edward and joey reach pavilion -.-|| damn 7 late they all lolx... they got lost dunno how many times already. Anyway edward and jenn bought the movie ticket for me! hahah thanks again for everything.

THe movie seriously is awesome funneh. I find the most scariest part funneh!! XD Espeacially when something something is standing on top of a person hhahaha. not gonna tell you wat till you watch it. Anyway joey suddenly lost her wallet in the cinema and we couldn't get back in to look for it which kinda suck... so we stay around and drove around pavilion filling reports and shit... At 12am+ went it to look for the wallet and TADAAA it was there lolx... Thank god it was there XD

ANyway it was a seriously awesome day! Loiue Su~ Jenn~ Edward~ and Joey thanks for the awesome time wei! you guys are awesome pawsome =D

me weird =P

I'm weird! lolx... well think about it, compare with most sane people out there and you find me the weirdest dude ever i think XD.. ok seriously I NEED TO DO SOMETHING TO MA HAIR! it's getting boring wearing a cap every single day hahaha.

Well hopefully tomorrow things will finally end and i'll be a happy dude as well as my family too =D if not then there goes more torture and miseries. And if it doesn't wonder if i should still go to time square.. I still haven't get my ear piercing damn it! BAH! So many things i wanna do and i havnet done it yet ;(

Well hopefully i'll get it all done in ma life time muahahahha needs to start looking up and not down... trying not to think about it as i said to myself before but as usual.. sometimes the mind and the heart never work together -.-|| it's frustrating seriously when that happens.

Wondering if i'll get a nice awesome meal tomorrow XD

Watch me!

Watch me be happy! i don't need no one and nobody and I'm gonna make the word emo and me with a NOT in between. Stereotype's annoying as usual. Don't ever judge if you don't know the real shit.

Tired in the mind

Hey readers =D. well life is going on as it is XD and i'm tired... not physcially tired lolx but mentally. I think I've over abused my mind for the past couple of months and i can feel it starting to shutdown already lolx.. Anyway that's really what's been happening, just feeling mentally tired and can't get this thing out of my mind lol..

Oh ya, this saturday i'm planning to go to fly fm birthday party at one utama central park XD i'm going! anyone wanna join me? lolx... gimme a call or sms if u going =D would appreciate it

Megan Fox is hot!

Humans! I'm not emo for now and hopefully ever lolx. Jenn talked some sense into me and I've figured what's been bothering me lolx.. anywayyyy enough of that, today is an awesome day.. why? I GET TO SEE MEGAN FOX HOT BODDEEEEHHHH!!!

YEAHHHHH! ooo she is damn hot wei T_T watched jennifer's body with su and jennifer lolx. i stared at jennifer body till i can't get my eyes of it =P ahahahahahahahahaha

Anyway, I seriously need to get myself a haircut but I also want my hair to grow longer and i mean L.O.N.G... but I'm sure grandparents and mom are gonna bother me bout my hair =.=|| I can't keep wearing a hat forever lolx... cause my hair as i said before died on me, can't do any shit on it but hey, life ain't everything bout looks..

If you attract a girl just based on your looks then she ain't worth it in my opinion. XD rather have someone who like me and my personality than just me being "hot" if i ever am lolx...

MUAHAHAHAH that's all for tonight. Mom's birthday today ;( couldn't get anything but hoping tomorrow i can surprise her with the secret recipe cake =D if i have enough money to get it that is...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA! YOU KNOW I LOVE YA =P

blah!

Today officially my hair died on me, can't do anything with it anymore! too damn thick lolx... still deciding between cutting it all off or leaving it longer till i can cut something out of it. College was alright today and all i can really say is BLAH!

Don't really feel good as in emotionally.. Seeing friends all sad and down and depressed and either i caught it from them or i'm just being emo =.=||

that's all bluekkkkkkkkkkkkk see ya

Scream-o?

Insecurities, hah...normal lar right? wondering what to do with my hair... kinda decided to leave it long and do something abnormally weird with it. I'm also wondering if I should get my ear pierced next month or this month... hmmm....

Lack of self-confidence.. who doesn't have it? Depends on how people deal with it? me I like punching myself in the face making things worse which i kinda enjoy at certain times..

I can feel myself pushing everyone away and I'm still putting that fakey smile on my face but its getting less and less xD I dun even bother to put up with my family no more. Just go in my room and either sleep with my ipod on and on the comp with the speakers blasting away like nobody business..

Some mass comm student lol..
Nightz humans

AAR Concert

Well just came back from AAR concert and took some pictures with sue, edward, isabel, joey, isabel and some of sue friends xD. hoping they'll tag me soon in facebook hahaha... well the concert was awesome even though the delay was pathethic. the whole crowd was getting impatient and all because the hitz fm dj's kept dragging the thing non-stop and the whole crowd practically shoo-ed them off.

I'm tired but not physically, more like mentally... this couple of weeks home has been hell for me. Don't know why but nothing is really happening it's just the atmosphere... I fucking feel pissed off everytime the minute i enter the home. I'll fucking do anything just to get out..

Well now i enjoy swearing and i dun really care who i say it to most of the time.. I enjoy putting my life in danger and i enjoy fucked up rock music where i can jump, head bang and scream my fucked up lungs out.

Conclusion.. i enjoyed AAR alot and since i'm home you should know how i feel ^^

Today is a good day?

Well today I went to help with sherene and lin xiang with their PSA XD i'm the main actor babeh! whoohoo and well before that had a presentation and i'm glad one thing is over already... one less subject to worry about xD so now gotta focus on my creative strategy, malaysian studies and film studies muahahahahahha.

So when I went back home and chill for an hour or two working on my creative strategy when su called me out xD. So we went together with his friends and went to play pool muahahahaha. Had fun OWNING them MUAHAHAAHAHA and he talked about paranormal activity which is THE horrow show i wanna watch real badly and I'm sure malaysian aint coming it out so lucky SU has the DVD PEOPLE! XD

Anyway that's all for today ahahahaha

Oh special thanks to Lin Xiang you all for treating me eward,marcus, jin and joey the steamboat XDDD

Is it necessary?

Question in my mind.

Does every single thing you feel or do must have a reason in them? I mean a proper facts reason. Can't you just wanna do something or feel something just cause you feel like it?

Well that's all there is today and emo is becoming an "in" thing -.-. I'm not emo xD I just like goth style lolx..

I get kids coming to me asking me for emo quotes and all O_O didn't really notice till now that's its a style

Well morning people since its 1.50am now xD

Enjoys...

Hello humans, guess what? I enjoy watching u puny humans suffer.. I like to see your agony, your pain, i wanna torture you till you scream for mercy, till you beg me to kill you..

Why I'm saying this? Cause it's what I feel like doing right now and I'm happy bout it..

Pissed off...

Wondering...

Thinking is fucked up bad and that's why I never think.

The night has ended~

Well ok i know... bet you guys are eagerly waiting for pictures so you will know what actually happen tonight xD but sadly NOOO pictures muahahahahhaha and I ain't gonna tell you what happened cause it's a need to know basis only lolx..

Anyway in the end it didn't really turn out the way I expected it to be but still at least I learned something xD

Well that's all~ short post lolx... night people~

hi! XD

Hey hey readers =D bet you've been eagerly waiting for ma next post! haha i'm just praising myself -_-|| anyway i'm still happy lolx and tomorrow is a big day for me i guess XDDDDD so wish me luck muahahahah

wondering tomorrow... will there pictures? xD

HAPPEH!

Hello dear readers.

xD yes i am HAPPEH! i dunno why, its the kind of effing happiness i haven't really felt for quite some time. It's like this feeling where there is no worries or burdens or responsibilities feeling. It's really making me feel damn relax! hahaha anyway its the 3rd day straight I'm feeling damn happy.

Well, I'm planning to get my left ear pierced XD cause I wanna change my look >.< sick of the same old thing for like since... form 3! the only difference during that time and now is i can leave a long fringe lolx.

Anyway planning to highlight my hair either bloody red or purple but not so soon as i'm still short on cash xD

Stay tuned for more! muahahahahaha

Better?

I just notice I blog alot lolx xD guess this where I mostly go to when I need someone and talking or rather more typing is kinda soothing xD hahaha. anyway the pain its there, it comes and goes and sometimes its hurts so bad i just wanna die but that's life xD. you have your ups and downs and you just gotta see how you get over it...

Wondering how long before it takes me to recover >.<. Kinda sick of always moaning and whining around but the truth is, I try to fix it but I dunno what I'm suppose to do. YES! i am that clueless... It's not I don't wanna try...

Ok enough of that xD today what i did was.... help my mom set up her computer, had lunch alone and take care of my super hyperactive annoying 5 year old cousin -__-||

Guess that's all for today lolx.. wonder if i'll update tmr O_O

Stupid ;(

I feel stupid :( yea so sad... guess i expected too much in return that when it doesn't it kinda effects me even though I was prepared for it.. I just hope everything would be set right again and I won't do stupid mistakes which i highly doubt so.

As people say! Get a Life and i'm getting one!

It hurts

It hurts for no fucking reason and i hate it... I'm the fucking cause of people losing out on fun and i fucking hate it... I'm still trying to find out, why the fuck does it hurt so fucking much...

Pandorum tomorrow xD

Well tomorrow pandorum with edward and jenn~ gald for this lolx, somethings that i thought was over at home came up again and i left rm12 in my wallet for this whole month.. yes this WHOLE month lolx and i'm going movie xD. gotta get a job soon and still working out lolx... just got my old dumbbell out and cleaned it.

Gonna start looking for weekends part time job i guess... if it lessen my family's burden guess loosing my rest day worth it to see their smiles on their face again and less of the stress-ed face =D

CONCERT!

Yes as the title of the blog says... I"m gonna go to a concert and its ma 1st international famous band concert T_T... i noe its sad but I"M GOING WHOOT! and it AAR muahahahaha... that's all lolx.. gonna do a photoshoot tmr~ hope i dun screw up >.>

Saturday DAY fever

Today is Saturday. lolx.... anyway today met up with jenn and we went to time square and we wanted to watch surrogates but the line was damn long and the timing wasn't good cause i had to meet my mom at 5pm cause her work finish at that time hahaha. Anyway so we decided to go to pavilion to have lunch at that time was already 2pm+ and we didn't even have BREAKFAST! yes we were starving XD

I had to take some moneh from the atm so went to ambank 1st but the stupid machine apparently don't accept CIMB customers... wtf lor... and the cimb machine broke down -_-||. So went to maybank atm and get some money... quite a long line but it was moving lolx.

When almost our turn this malay group. Niama took so long. the card not working CAUSE no money lar! keep fucking trying for wat -_- make us stand there so fucking long and keep using the machine like it belong to them only. TIU!

Anyway after that we walked to pavilion and it was under the burning sun T_T. Well went there straight away had carls jr. lolx. I love carls jr xD it gave me an orgasm when the taste double western cheese bacon burger melted into my mouth... aaaahhhhh. We chilled there and did my malaysian studies assignment lolx. chatted and all till it was 5pm+ and i didn;t even notice lolx..

So around 5.15 rush back to time square and pick my mom up and went home~ i repeat again... I LOVE CARLS JR.!

Su loy T_T wednesday yam cha ah! xD if u reading this u better come!

Got a message from minekey today. it goes like this "Don't worry about the failure, worry about the chances you will miss if you don't try" This message and something she said made me thinking again...

Weird Feeling

I'm having these weird and i say WEIRD feeling lolx. It's not an emo feeling but something happy yet sad o_O get what i mean? xD haha anyway I don't think I should be having this weird-ish feeling nia... Personal Reasons lolx xD

Well my mom said something that kinda change the perspective on how I look at life. She said life will bring you down all the time but it depends on how you look at it. On how you see it and think about it, to her she thinks about how she has me and my bro who are always there for her ( yes me good boy =D) and how we behave ourselves and respect the elder and all~

Haha well awesome stuff xD. Well in my perspective I guess what puts a smile on my face all the time is the thought of having an awesome open minded mom xD (most people are jealous of that LOL) an awesome bro (for now but sometimes annoying... well most times) AWESOME FRIENDS (you know who you are! and if you think its not you then its you unless you're really sure its not you then i dunno O_O) ahahahaha well my life i find out its awesome... got problems but who doesn't just gotta fix it and move on with ur happy little life =D

G-FORCE!

Muahahahaha! Yes! I watched the Guinea Pigs movie! Watch it with jenn and su loy xD it was a last minute thing lolx. As usual on wednesday night is my yam cha night with su loy and once in a while jenn or su's friend will join xD. Well nothing much, Ate at Old Town at leisure mall and the service there seriously sucks to the max! Waited for our food for like 30-45min -__-|| and there wasn't even that much people there.

Anyway after the dinner we went for out movie lolx. The movie is ok and all just that the guinea pigs are cute but besides the storyline is your usual storyline and it kinda gets boring cause its repetitive for most movies...

So like after the movie, send jenn home then me and su loy went to McD for our yam cha session lolx. We played worms on his new bought laptop there cause the wifi was being sucked up by too many people so we couldn't connect to the internet lolx. played 3 games and i lost 2 games T_T!!

Well it was a fun night and all xD hope there will be more to come lolx

Mooncake Festival Day~

Well today was mooncake festival day. Kinda sad though, it's another sleepless night. Thought after hearing some good news I would actually start feeling happier and have a peace of mind at night but I don't, there is just weird annoying feeling that I can't pinpoint what's causing it at all. So annoyed, everynight i am damn depressed for no reason and I can;t sleep at night even when I force myself to..

Well today had a family dinner at home and all my cousins was here and even my cousin who is studying at ipoh came~ Damn long since I've seen him and chatted. Anyway it's a saturday and I usually just stone at home but went out with Jenn to accompany her for lunch then after went home and watch "Your Majesty Secret Service" not bad show but I wasn't entertained as much as I thought I would be.. Must be the weird feeling again.

Anyway after my lil bro went to tuition, used the com till like 6pm where I went to bring him home from tuition. When I reach home my grandmother came out and asked me to send her to econsave which i did.. Kinda annoyed because I've become everyone's personal driver at home. Never asked whether I'm free or not, they just demand I send them.

Well something my grandmother said kinda made me sad but that's life and everyone has their problems and all.. I'm full of it where I handle all the shit for my family but that's what my aunt says -_-|| Its my so called fucking responsibility as the "man of the house" FUCK YOU! you have a fucking husband who is causing me more fucking trouble at home. Cause of certain people, coming home is a nightmare. I'm always out finding some fucking thing to do and all.. Sick of coming home and listening to the arguements and the complains and all those shit.

BAH! ya well sucky mooncake festival this year and i kinda practically hate this year but yea I;m emo. Love me, Hate me, I'm still me

YU YEE!

halor! my next blog i'm gonna post is how i spend my lunch today LOL! class was canceled cause i forgotten mr vincent replaced todays class ady -_-|| so sjadgauisdhadhasd! anyway had lunch with yuen yim and jasmine =D and jasmine couldn't stop laughing for no reason LOL and it's cause yuen yim had this certain aura that made her can't stop laughing ahahahahahahhahahaha

Anyway we went for lunch at yu yee and i ate kuey tiaw XD forgotten how to spell ady -_-|| anyway after lunch we walk back and suddenly they decide to face their back to the wind when we reach back college. Looks like they were farting and wanted the wind to blow away the smell AHAHAHAHAH and i joined in but i didn;t fart lolx!

anyway that's all for today muahahahahahaha... sooo broke man.. and so many family issues coming up again T_T i need help.. >.>

Me?

I'm fucked up on the inside so yea, i may seem like a nice guy but don't trust me

Jenn's 20th birthday~

Oh yeah! yesterday celebrated jenn's birthday at delicious~ here are some pictures. Edward, Christine, Amanda and Gideon was there xD.








Do not know how to post these pics and arrange them -_- so susah so i just give up lolx and ITS MY 1st POST WITH PICTUREZZZ

=D

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Found out something awesome =D MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Halor

Halor, My name is Adam Farid and people call me Adam/ Adam F/ Farid. I prefer adam. That's all you need to know bout me LOL.

Anyway dunno how to start so i start with this =D. well awesomely sleepy after a week of sleepless night and now I;m gonna end this post by saying goodnight butttt Not yet =D.

Well what's been going on is everywhere around my family and friends are having problems and been to busy listening to their problems especially my family that i can't even solve my own >.<. So currently I am having a hard time to even want to face my problems hahaha cause it'll hurt even more since I somehow forgotten them while trying to fix my family's problem.

Oh ya tomorrow..i mean today xD since its already pass midnight i'm going to One Utama with jess and my N.E.M group to continue my awesomely coffee tasting assignment muahahahah I LOVE THIS PART OF THE ASSIGNMENT =D.

Ok that's all for tonight i guess and goodnight humans~ I'm seriously sorry I can;t get pictures to make my post more interesting >.< but can't expect much from a poor boy right? hahaha

Oh ya.. been wondering... why be mature and suffer so much problems and trying to act cool when you can just face your problems like some ignorant kid and get it over with and still have fun doing it when you're immature? xD so yea.. what's wrong with being immature... been wondering.

Truth?

I'm not ok, that's the plain straight truth. Dunno how to explain or whatever.. just sick some stuff and my eyes are damn heavy.. yet my brain is hyper lol..

Nightz. Nothing much to talk about, just another same old same old torturing day.

Good day gone bad

Well woke up this morning and was uber sleepy as usual hahaha xD. anyway went over to see my dad and i can see he is resting in peace xD the grass are growing beautifully all over his graveyard.. damn i miss you dad ;(

Anyway after visited my dad, me and my bro went to work and kind of had a blast dissing each other hahaha. well it was an awesome day at work, wasnt bored or anything..

Well i gone emo after work and after dinner and all, no idea why was happy earlier and i saw something which really made me down... kinda got me thinking... Am I that bad? LOL

hungry T_T oh and i cant sleep again lolx..

i noe u guys are bored of words and wants pictures! but soon soon i will try to get a camera

Chilling.

Trying to relax and hopefully in another 45min a major problem in my life will be solved in a good way if not then home will be hell, life will be awesomely fucked up xD. Anyway did nothing much the whole day but dream, think, and most importantly when you're bored is to stone hahahaha.

Well waiting for the time to pass by and the song my blog is playing now is currently my fav song ahahhahaa xD. hungry... ate vege at dinner only =_= well thats the side effect of trying to lose weight i guess. hmm hoping to get some gym equipments soon and oh ya if everything works out i'm gonna get myself a freaking new phone to celebrate muahahaha.

Jenn's birthday coming up soon and I still have no idea where to plan it and who I'm suppose to invite! lolx. Wish me luck people i seriously need it.

Night time still the worst of the worst but hey if it doesn't kill me it'll make me stronger

Tear my heart please for I don't want to feel anymore, I'm sick of caring for someone who just doesn't want it and I'm sick of always being the one in the middle. Always being the "annoying kid" or the guy who is "too soft". Fuck all this, I'm sick of enduring the insults, sick of listening to problems and being able to do shit about it and I'm fucking sick of not being able to stand strong on my own personal issues...

I'm falling apart.. I can't put that smile on my face as often as I used too... I don't even think I'll bother to fight anymore if anyone disses me... I'm just wish I can give up as easily as I think of it..
I don't want anyone to pity me yet they do, I don't want people feeling fucking sorry for me cause I've been through fucking worse and I'll get through it... but maybe not today... maybe not tomorrow... maybe in the afterlife only then you'll see me give you a genuine smile..

I am sick of listening to people telling about what I should have done and what you are fucking doing now cause basically you are out of my life and its your own life you are handling not mine.

Fuck all this problems I have, if I had a choice I would rather be emotionless and not care about anything than being a guy who has a heart..

"I'm sorry if this post is too emo for you but its how I write so if you can't take it then too bad."

Today...!!

Today, skip N.E.M cause had to do some family issues and tomorrow skipping class again cause its not solved yet ;( only going for film studies cause i have a presentation. Anyway tonight was awesome xD had dinner with jenn at mcd then waited for su loy to come over and while waiting bull shit alot hahaha.

When su came he ate his burger like a man that was starved for days O_O. so he finished quite fast hahaha and anyway after that we went to play pool and the stupid part was... it was another FREAKING draw lolx.. our skills got problem xD hahahahahahhaahhaha

Anyway jenn owes me a game muahahaha cause i won xD REMEMBER!

Well gonna sleep soon i guess and continue stressing myself tomorrow hoping it'll finally be done so that me and my family can finally sleep in peace and have a happy life.


Still having problems sleeping and night time's the time when the heart hurts like hell... but slowly i'm getting better.. i hate being emo but i cant help it..

Still Alive

It hurts, but I'll live.

Taiwan Sausage is awesomely spicy! O_O burn my eyes and my nose felt like i was exhaling hot air lolx.. had a great time with jenn, edward, jin swan, carmen and joey xD. love u guys~

Emotionally Unstable >.<

Well I found out my emotions ain't for me to control lolx.. was soo damn pissed off today, stressed, fucked up annoyed. screamed in the car till my lungs hurts multiple time and blast music till i cant hear no shit around me.

In the end i found out, that why feel down when all u need to do is put a smile on ur face and that will make people around u and urself happy... so that's wat i plan to do starting from now on. Well i've always been putting a smile on my face lolx so i guess i'll just continue instead of going around with a black cloud on ma head.

oh ya.. who wanna dance with me? i miss dancing xD

ZOMG! the 10th! post

lolx, this is weird.. its already the 10th post and my last blog only lasted till the 4th-5th post only hahahaha. anyway today work and was dead tired... hadn't been sleeping well since july as i mention xD 3-4 hours a day only.. insomnia.. i caught it from edward! ahahhaha. anyway hang out with jenn just now and we went and do my errant and then played dragonica at a cc haha.

Kinda fun cause its just like the old times when usually after friday class we usually go to the nearest cc and play maple story xD. anyway really appreciate that she went out with me cause i needed the company =D

Well tomorrow hoping to watch orphan with edward ong! then meet up with joanne at one utama to settle our phone bills and all haha.

Well that's all for today i guess xD. feeling like shit seriously.. getting worried that its all a lie... if it does i really wanna go to that assholes house and slaughter his whole fucking family =D

thank you to all you people that always care bout me.. you guys are seriously the friends i can always depend on xD

well life aint fair but we just gotta live it right? wonder if i get to singapore for that free concert yuen yim mention xD. hope can get a fellow online gamer friend to let me crash at their house so i can save cost haha

Saturdays can kill me...

Well its a saturday and i hate saturdays lolx.. cause i have nothing and i mean nothing to do at all! i have no computer, no tv no shit or whatever to do but to just lie on the bed and stone there because during the day time my bro uses the computer while night time is when i use it. So currently i have to find something to do on a saturday or else every saturday i'll lose bit by bit of my mind and go nuts from the boredom.

Well did nothing at all but just drove around cheras area and then at 8.30 jia shin came and pick me up and we went to mc house before going to station one where we have our yam cha session lolx. Daniel met us at mc house and then we all went there together. Gin Yih met us as station one as he live near there and then later on daniels friend came who i somehow forgot to ask for her name..sadzz and then steven came. xD

Well around 10.30 jia shin and mc had to go so its just the 5 of us left and we just chat non stop bout nonsense, religion, politics and shit but mostly shit lolx. Well steven intro me to the 15malaysia video which is quite interesting.

Here's the link http://15malaysia.com

Anyway i had fun hanging out with old friends and kinda miss them haha. miss the old times and all XD.

Well that's all for today... hmm thinking of jogging on saturday morning but only if i'm able to wake up in time..

Annoyingly me

Hello Humans! Greetings! =D well today another normal day except that me and nadhirah and all were so stressed up when our work was like delayed and we couldnt hand it up but thank god we finish it time in the end. Anyway after photo class me, jess, lydia, jentzon, marcus and jin went to tropicana to continue our coffee testing assignment which i love doing hahaha.

After that jess went to subang and lydia decided to hang around tropicana mall while the rest of us went over to one utama to meet up with christina, kelly, her bf and jolene and watch... *the unbelievable. Sadly, i cant find the picture to post it up here but oh well its a not bad horror show but its more like a documentary lar.

Well after that went home and all. Had a great time all and all and still playing dragonica to release stress and all muahahahaha. join me in my never ending mission to lvl up!

*losing my self-confidence... hating myself for being so damn annoying*

Hey guys~

Ya well don't wanna do another emo post but i can't help it >.< i'm always inspired when i'm emo lolx. well another day passed by and getting lots of loves from good friends xD damn i just love those people haha. well yesterday night went and yam cha with su and we had a long talk bout our lives then we head to challenger and played pool and i won 1 match and he won 1 match so we draw xD. was 12.30am when i reach home and the minute i reach home i saw my left eye totally red lolx.

Well, the worse is over i guess, cause it didnt hurt as much as it did on tuesday but then.. well i found out who are the assholes that keeps sabotaging my life so yea fuck that loser. =D

Assignments pouring in and tomorrow hopefully gonna watch movie with jess and the gang haha. gonna go to tropicana to drink Vietnam coffee as its our assignment to TEST coffee hahahaha. i'm so gonna enjoy myself.

Well, that's all for now. Can't wait to hang with my awesome friends =D

Officially Single. 1 word... AWESOME!

Whoot, i'm single lolx anyway college today was alright and felt dead XD no thanks to my lack of sleep for the past 2 months ;( only able to sleep 2-3 hours ady sadly... oh well anyway had class finish assignment took pictures and hang with a bunch of good friends xD. cant find these people anywhere so they are AWESOME! you know who you are, well if you read my blog lolx.

Anyway getting used to being single again but i'll live lolx xD bah! going yam cha tonight with su and gonna enjoy myself. Well guess we meet awesome people in life and no good assholes too so just becareful who you hang with =D

Who wanna go clubbing with me? xD

BAH!

Muahahahaha, another day gone by and i'm feeling more broken hearted but wth lor, i'm suppose to be getting happier lolx... anyway today le~ wat happen is... went to school and reach there at 10.30am and call yuen yim and adam lee and ask where the replacement for media planning class is at and guess wat... yes.... the unthinkable happen.... CLASS WAS CANCELED!! :( so had to wait till 2pm for film studies but found edward, jin swan in the com lab and chilled with them till like 12 then head out for choi kee for lunch with more people which are joyee, marcus, nicholas and carmen =D. hanging with all these people makes the problem go away only nia, jin swan still the comedian lolx.

Well at 2pm went to class and watch "pretty woman". my 1st time watching the show even though it was came out like during the 90's lolx. enjoyed the show alot hahaha xD

Anyway kinda depressed but i made up my mind to not care about her anymore, she can do whatever she wants and date whoever she wants cause for all i care, she broke my trust and i hate it when that happens. so whatever lar, i am gonna game and do my assignments and get myself some awesome hot girls =D

Oh yea gonna enjoy myself next week! tuesday going ming tian with a bunch of college mates muahahahahah and then wednesday su buying me tony roma OH YEAH! love my life =D no scratch that... love my awesome friends!

Things ain't getting better so what?! Still gotta live life to the fullest =D

Problems getting worst and worst but oh well as the title say, So What?! I gotta live life to the fullest cause i only live once and only once so fuck all the crap and all and just enjoy myself for i live life for myself and no one else >=).

Well for today, went over to edwards house even though its a holiday but still gotta do assignment T_T oh crap.. i just remembered i'm suppose to take the camera from nadhirah... she gonna kill me :(Pray i survive!! >.< anyway after the meeting and i even helped with their pr event (i hope) xD. went for lunch at mcdonalds with edward, kelvin and carmen =D had a "group discussion" lolx and really felt way better xD

Anyway gonna be playing ma dragonica and enjoy my bloody self for i aint gonna waste my time moping around like some idiotic bum hahaha. damn it missed all my high school friends T_T college friends! bring me out nia... i need movies, coffee and most of all alcohol muahahahaha

Anger post >=(

Pissed off... pissed off... my god i feel like smashing my freaking heart to pieces so i wont feel any fucking emotions at all.. BAH! oh well got my hair cut today and gonna change who i am.. aint gonna let nobody pushes me around anymore. I am pissed and will be pissed till I get to fucked someone up bad.

I wanna go langkawi... cheap alcohol and i would be happy to drink all day =D

Whee~ District 9 day O_O

Well its my 2nd post! zomg lolx... xD well today went to college half dead but woken up after having breakfast lolx chee cheong fun XD its gooood. anyway went to class waited for mr vincent till 8.30 when the class starts at 8 -.-|| anyway after went to photo tutorial and found out that there wont be any lecture today whooooot! so went to do my N.E.M assignment by drinking the olden days coffee hahaha anyway went there which is at kepong and jessica drove me, lydia and jentzon there where we met marcus. =D had fun drinking coffees and playing with the camera hahaha. then after that met with edward and we headed for time squad to meet jenn and watch district 9.

When we finally meet Jenn, she doesn't feel like watching anymore lolx and end up following her to starbucks with 2 of her friends and sat there chilling for like 2 hours. Me and Edward read a book called umm diaries of a nerd/ sissy not sure... forgotten lolx. After that Edward and I decided to just watch the movie ourselves and there we went watching district 9... well overall the show was ok but for me the ending kinda suck.

Anyway that's all for today... oh ya finally got myself new shoes! and its white O_O


Loads of problems lately... dunno if things will work out anymore... if its not meant to be then oh well... i tried my best

My awesomely 1st post =D

Hey people this is my 1st post and I'm excited lolx! well cause in like 12 more minutes it offcially gonna be a full 11 months with the girl i love joanne gan xiaomin! seriously can't wait to surprise her and wish her later... hopefully i wont disturb her sleep though :( dunno how this blog will end up but hopefully you readers~ if there's any should try and encourage me to keep this up hahahahaha