Broken Pieces

Today I finally sold one product to a consumer muahahahahhaha! Finally one of my 1st real sales and I'm happy. Well after work went to choi kee to have lunch with june, cy, sarah and matthew lolx. Would like to thank them for having lunch with me and letting me hang at their house till my mama came to pick me up hahaha. Kinda excited bout the valentine event that we're setting up cause I've never really been to any valentine event and I guess I'm finally going to one hehehehehe~

Well june asked us all to write what love means to use and I wrote two lolx. The first one was too long so I wrote another which is kinda funny yet sweet at the same time. Hmm kinda like it cause it's just plain goofy hahahaha. Well came home and wrote something kinda sad.. it's just something I saw today and I just couldn't help myself but to write bout it.. Hmm seems like I've been really been writing alot these past weeks and I like it LOL!

Well won't really post it here cause I don't really wanna show people stuff that's gonna make people feel sad or anything, I prefer making people smile laugh =D but I'll post the link here so you readers can read it if you guys want to.

http://miseries.deviantart.com/art/Broken-Pieces-152270751

Well that's pretty much I can remember for now haha, till next time~

You

It's a mistake
Looking at you
Why did I fall for you
Why do you interest me

Never knew it would hit me like this
I was wrong
Sometimes giving your all isn't enough
It's just pointless

What's special bout you
You're just a girl
Just like the rest
Different sure, still.. a girl

There are tons
I was so so so wrong
Sometimes giving up is the only path left
Still I wished, I hoped.. I prayed

That I could
That I had
That I'm somebody
To you and wanted me just like I do to you

I just wanna be free
Free from human emotions
Just to run wild again
To do what I love the most

But it's pulling me down
This emotions
I had to be different to you
Be someone else to you

I hate it
To not be brave
To just do what guys do
To just flirt around like others do

But I guess I couldn't
For I'm different
I'm too considerate for people's feeling
That's what I think

I'll learn though
To spread my wings and fly
Be who I am to everyone
That way..

I'll be special to someone
So that I'll be appreciated
Just like I appreciate you
For being you...


Wrote this today cause I couldn't face the fact of reading the thousands of rules for advertising purposes but in a way I found out that the music I listen to when I try and write effects the emotions on what I write. So if it's an emo song then it'll come out emo ahhahahaha. Well went to lunch with suemitraa, audrey, sarah and callen at one utama and ate a place call.. Old Town SIGNATURE.. hahaha high class place u noe =P expensive too hahahahhahaa

Had a bunch of fun hahaha cause we are now offcially called the... wait for it... the IMMIGRANTS! hahahahaha funny la today, laugh till our stomachs almost break except audrey haha her poker face is awesome!

Dance today was fun haha, imma slow learner but I'm trying >.< anyway my neck hurts cause 1 part of the move u have to push your to the side and that hurts badly hahahaha but still i love dancing so it's just a little sacrifice i guess wheee~

That's all I guess.. so yea stay tuned for more awesome pawsome 4some mosome stories of ma life haha... kinda like writing haha and letting people read it, having their opinions is awesome compared to writing alone.

Wondering

Well today wasn't a bad day hahaha, spend most of the day after class with june, cy and sarah. We played bingo and hangmen because we were bored lolx. Then went home and I fell asleep on the lrt even though I slept early yesterday lol but the eye bags on me says another story I guess. Hmm, needa catch up on my beauty sleep soon. Anyway in a way I kinda wanna try writing other stuff besides depressing, dark and gloomy poems but end up something that failed lolx... It's call wondering which is why the title of the blog is this haha.

Went out with Su just now and had fun playing pool and all haha. He had problems but of course my awesome lame jokes cured him for that few hours we hang haha. Hope I helped him out, always hate to see a friend feeling down.

Well I'm gonna post the poem now I guess but I feel that this poem has no emotions in it at all.. so it doesn't really struck out to me.. hmm well gimme ur comments please =P I like to hear them

I'm hesitating
I wanna facebook you
Text you
Call you

I'm afraid
That I'm disturbing you
Annoying you
Scaring you

I'm thinking
If you'll think of you
Dream of me
Imagine me

So many cared
I'm not the only one
There are others
But I wanna be the special one

What is it I have to do
I wanna impress you
Make you feel awesome
Keep that smile on your face

I'll be anything
Everything you ever want
I'll be that gentleman
And that comedian joker

Wondering
Would I be good enough
Do I need to change
To be your baby

Kinda hoping
More like wishing
Don't wanna beg
But will you be my valentine?

-Night people -

CHEHHHH~

Addicted to this word ady and i blame c.y!! always using it till its stuck in my head ahahahhaha. well wednesday going out to watch legion with june, cy, sarah, matt, edward, jin swan and joey(maybe) muahahahahahaha. Love this gang of people la, always cracking up lame jokes.

Well today went to the curve after my copywriting class and apparently my copywriting ad idea my lecturer likes it haha and would like to thank adam lee for giving me the banana idea ahahahha. Well went to the curves to help jin swan do this consumer behaviour assigmment then went to ikea to eat meatballs! whooot~ i love meatballs hahahah

Listening to lady gaga newest album whee~ nice beat =P plus on sunday I was so bored at the coffee shop while waiting for the maids to finish cleaning up i end up writing this lame valentine poem thing that I don't I even understand it myself hahaha. Planning to try and write another one that's way better lol, spend more time on it and write it more romantic and all haha

Loving my facebook picture lolx! which is.......



Awesome picture huh? hahahaha I love making people laugh =P

Whoot whoot~

Well today went to work at maya hotel muahahaha, the hotel damn nice but sadly i couldnt make any sales again BLAH! having bad luck at work which is not good lolx. i want the commission hahahahaha. Well didnt do anything productive today, internet line is like so damn effing slow and friends asked me out but i'm didn't want to cause everyone is like going out till late night. Helping out at my grandparents coffee shop tomorrow so don't wanna look like a zombie for them ahahha. Gotta help ma elders =P Think I'm going to play badminton tomorrow hahahha. Haven't start doing on my copywriting tutorial work yet cause I do not wanna look at pictures that I am sure would be disgusting and I haven't found a partner for copywriting yet which kinda sucks but oh well, gonna look around on monday or wednesday.

Well wrote something yesterday which apparently a few people like it lolx. Kinda dark well I think that's all I'm good at when it comes to writing, everytime I write something dark and gloomy there is always a few people that likes it but when it's something else, it doesnt get that much attention hahaha. Well I'll post it out anyway cause maybe you might be interested to know how it is ><

It's called - Lies -

Heartbeats
It's what keep people alive
Where's the life in it
When everything is made of lies

There's people with mask
There's people with insanity
There's people with Depression
Finally there's people with no heart

Where's the joy in it
Nothing is made to be seen
What you see is not what you get
Laughter would just be a means of habit

Everything is broken
Everyone is broken
Truth doesn't matter no more
No mind or heart believe the truth

Promises are broken
None are made to be fulfilled
Cursing is a common scene
Death is a norm

Pray to your god
Fear the darkness
It's everywhere
Look for the light

It's no where to be seen
There ain't hope
There never was any
Everything is build by false pretenses

Lies is what you build your life around
Believe it, swallow it, blend with it
Resistance is futile
For none survive, I was one of them

-Thanks for reading =D hope you enjoy it-

Dance!

Ok I'm addicted to dancing lol... I just can't make my feet move normally no more haha and I like music and all and I feel so relax when I can move just like everyone does haha. Makes me feel I dunno, something hahahahahha well I LOVE DANCING hahahahhahaha... hmm wonder when I'm gonna learn slow dance =P it's a must for me for future purposes muahahahahhahaa

Gonna dance tomorrow too~ wheeeee seriously damn happy cause I'm able to dance again hahaha, don't think I'm gonna get another chance like this outside so gotta appreciate the final moments I have left..

Well tired and sleepy. Gonna sleep now hehe night night people~

Joey Birthday!

Today damn awesome wei lolx went and surprise joey and midnight to wish her happy birthday and she almost slam the door on us AHHAHAHAHAHA funny la! Well spend most of the day with the usual people from yesterday lol! new gang wei =P june, cy,sarah(mention now mention now =P), matthew, edward, joey and jin swan hahahahaha. Plus they rape my car somemore... sad wei my car cried cause she lost her virginity to a bunch of people ahhahaha.

Having damn alot of fun and laughter with this people la, can laugh till stomach pain hahaha.. Well kinda sad to be the 1st one having to go home but what to do since I live so damn far >.< oh well there's always next time and tomorrow dance again! whoot i loveeeee dancing hahahhaa

well fulfilling my promise, here ghost and angel.

I'm not seen by people
You're the one they believe in
I am just a menace to them, a darkness
You're their light, their hope

I've done so many mistakes
That's why I'm like this
No one can see me or feel me
Not even you

You're there for them
Shining, smiling, merciful
You make the sun look tame
Everyone loves you

I've been wandering around
Trying to reach out to the stars
Then I saw you
I met you, talk to you

I'm seeing you
Thinking of you
Imagining you
I wanna dance with you

Wishing you could see me
Just look at me
Not like the others do
Just me for who I really am

I'm a ghost
I'm wandering around looking
Looking for something..
That something is you

You're an angel
You shine your shiny light on people
You bring smiles and hope to the darkness
Yet I don't think you see me

I'm a ghost
You're an angel
I long to touch you
But too far you are to reach

Off with your wings
Mercifully over everywhere
I stare at you from a distance
For you can't see me

I'm just a ghost
Endlessly following you
Cause I finally found you
My Angel, my light

*in a way kinda realize that I can't fully get my jokes out or speak much with the person that interest me =P but i'll learn one day hopefully hahah.*

100th post!

Well this is a day to be remembered. Why? Because one, this is my 100th post! lolx!! and I had a bunch of fun with june, cy, matthew, melody, sarah, jin swan, marcus, edward and joey today hahaha. Steamboat was awesome especially eating it when you made it with your own hands. Well I ate and ate and ate and ate and ate but it never stops coming LOL! In the end when the noodles finally came in, I couldn't take another bite. Yes I was that full! hahahahaha.

Well today is a good day as my mom's friend decided to help pay half of my college fees till my loan comes in which mean I don't need to get deferred to the next semester whee~ Well tomorrow gonna dance the dance and then hopefully dinner with these bunch of people i mention haha.

Well that's all and I just wrote something about a ghost and angel, kinda realise I don't need to be emo to write hahahah will post it tomorrow~ kinda tired today

Nightz

Sherlock Holmes again

Today after class straight went to The Curve with edward, carmen, nadhirah and yuen yim. Carmen driving is like super awesome freaking scary lolx! Worst than mine alot wei, imagine that hahahaha well mine has improved alot cause I don't enjoy driving like a mad man anymore. Well we watch sherlock holmes and it was funny ahaha enjoyed watching it again a 2nd time. hahaha I'm apparently a freak of nature to everyone wheeee~ in another words it means I'm special and me likey!

Well after the movie we had lunch at Mcd then went home after that. Had a blast and going for a steamboat and Matthew's house tomorrow woohoo.. now how I'm gonna go home tomorrow haahahahahahah... well improvised I'm good at.. i think hahaha and I kinda enjoyed that people like my writing, gives me a sense of umm satisfaction that it's not a piece of crap like I always thought it was.

Well time to continue my assignment which I know I'm gonna burn a lot of midnight oil tomorrow lolx. Wish me luck and all.. Kinda wish something didn't had to turn out the way it is now.

Toys

Strings on your back
Like a doll with hooks
A puppet with ropes
Like a shirt buttoned up

Controlled with orders
Following without retaliating
Used and used over like a chair
Freedom never in sight

Believe in higher power
Praying for a savior
Releasing you from your torment
Agony your heart holds

Days passed
Weeks passed
Months passed
Years passed by

Where is your savior
Every night you pray with no hesitations
Didn't they say as long as you believe he will be by your side
"Oh hero where thou art you" you cried

Door opening again
The bright light that blinds your eyes
Picked up again
Strings playing as you entertain those brats

You just wanna take it off
Tear your heart out
Spear your head to a knife
Before it starts

Before the grubby little hands come
Before you get dragged around again
Close your eyes
As kids picked you up and tear each sewn torn over again

- I was writing this while waiting for the shop to close down at my uncle's coffee shop~ was just experimenting with it hahahaha and now edward says he might use this to write a song HAHAHAHAHA! my 1st song oooo lala! -

MWD class

Well learn some stuff in class today hahahaha, and created some stuff and posted on facebook lolx! I draw Sarah Lim and she drew me and I end up getting curly hair and a mole lolx. Damn awesome wei, I made a superman with his cape flying around like a movie!!

Went to one utama to pick my lil bro up then went to bangsar for my work training today, had fun and tomorrow I must at least get 1 person.. haha my goal for tomorrow and then I can feel proud bout myself whee~ Gonna be working from 8-6/7 tomorrow and then gonna chill around klcc with su and maybe some of the others after work hahah since we working at klcc.

Well kinda been facing this teeny weeny self confidence thing thing but it can't be help if i stay at malaysia.. sadzz oh well have to see wat the future holds for me~ Maybe I'll end up going Aussie after all

Well Nightz~ that's all for now

Have I found "you"

Staring at the stars
With this big eyes
Thoughts floating through my mind
Never without you that's absent

Wondering much
Questioning myself
Why is it still you
What's with me on you

Is it true
Have I finally found "you"
"you" who is meant for me
One that completes me

But it might be an illusion
Just as a hungry man sees food everywhere
I could be craving
The love of a person

Under this sky
I stare again
Into the deep universe
I stare

Time is all I need
That's what I said
Yet the same question lurking around
Have I found "you"

It's a chance I gotta take
I don't wanna try no more
For it's not a risk that's worth taking
An illusion is what I see

I have to think so
For a risk that big is not worth it
Have I found "you"
Is something I should forget

Nothing I have believed
So why this
Have I found "you
Is just another fake belief

Have I found "you"
An illusion for a man
Craving for love
Hunger my mind feed me

Endure I will
For I have never found you

*Heheheheheheheh kinda like my first romance post for quite sometime hahaha. Well I would like to thank yuen yim for introducing me the song flightless bird, american mouth because that's the song that gave me the idea to write this hahahahaha.*

Well today I was at college since 8.30am and only reach home at 11.30pm =P YES! I was at college the whole day because..... I'M DANCING AGAIN WHOOOT! hahah love dancing plus the people there all damn hyper wei ahahahahaha!

Well tired but I wish someone would teach me to dance more better and I would like to thank Kelvin Ng for teaching me C-Walk as well as popping hahahaha though me still noob...

Well that's all I guess I can't stop listening to flightless bird, american youth aahhh.. it's just so damn good.. hahaha nightz people =P hope to hear from u people who i dun see much soon

Music

Today was suppose to go M.O.S but I didn't go cause in the end they wanted to open bottle and I only thought they were going there to dance.. so I decided to go college and dance since it's all I ever wanted but then hahaha my friend didn't show up haiz... So went home but on the way met some friends and yam cha with me awhile.

Well today is pasar malam night and I didn't go out lol.. which has been awhile since almost every pasar malam night I'm out.. I actually have money now well enough for myself and I'm saving them up for well bills and to support myself cause I'm not really sure that my allowance will be confirm on that exact date. Well I don't mind support myself at all ahahhaa.

Got blasted by jenn and christine yesterday and i have to say christine is way more scarier than jenn last night.. but that's what friends do if you think about it, if thy didn't care they would most probably just forget about me.

Writing without using emoticons is HARD! I'm so used to using them hahahaha. Well waiting for my twilight soundtrack to finish downloading~ Hmm have to start shopping for CNY clothes soon, anyone care to join me? hahaha my fashion sense suck and would not mind some critics lol..

Kinda realise that, while i was depressed as hell I was able to write, thought of a full sentence just by looking or listening to a single word but now that I'm well you can better off haha I can't write or have thoughts of those.. I ain't saying I wanna be depressed.. heck I'm scared to be depressed.. it wasn't a good time for me but I kinda missed having those kinda special thoughts.. ahaha but oh well being happy just like everyone else is better for me =D

Well 2010 is still looking good for now hahaha, having awesome friends is well just plain awesome... ok... now to continue waiting for my music and I am now liking my current song that's playing in my blog hahahahah so sooooothing!



nightz~

Clothes and Movies

Lolx as I said I was gonna change my dressing styles and I got maself a white shirt.. yes a white shirt LOL! more to come soon I hope, working on saturday at klcc and then after the work me and su and hopefully more ppl gonna join us for movie =D hahaha can't use much money for now cause gotta save up for new clothes b4 chinese new year.

HEHEHEHEHEHE still experimenting with what kind of hairstyles i can do with my weird hair cut lolx..

-End-

Broken People

Well am back home from badminton and I think my arm muscle gonna hurt tomorrow lolx cause I keep using full strength to smash XD. Well read an article today on the newspaper and it's kinda well meaningful in a way. It says that no matter who you are there is some part of you that is broken. It depends just how many pieces there are and most people just shrug it off and pretend that nothing is wrong with them (example = me). That broken piece just lie there dormant and it'll keep on stronger in a way till one day it will burst out. The article also gave a couple of examples and it ain't pretty O_O. Seeing a psychiatrist MAY only help but it depends on the people themselves...

Well on new year eve I've made my resolution to always think positive and think of the bright side of things and never let anything bring me down but the truth is... thinking positive is just another way of leaving the problem aside. I finally know what Jenn meant on our last phone call, bout how I always leave whatever is bothering me alone and whine and complain bout it but never do anything. I just shrug it off now and I've actually been doing it since my dad passed away and it finally got strong enough to keep me awake sometimes at night.

Well I finally understand things I guess... I just need a bit of tips on what to do once in a while and what am I really doing. Yes.. I'm that clueless but that's me in a way lolx.. I never know what to do with myself but I'm trying XD that's why the new hairstyle and I'm gonna shop for other colours but black well maybe a few black but more colours this time XD gotta make myself more presentable for everyone..

And finally the thing is, I finally know that no one ever tried to hurt me, it's either I hurt them too much or I pushed them aside too far and that's why I was left alone here. Well not gonna try and let that happen again.. Guess I either gotta try and contact the people again and say I'm sorry or just move on... Damn any tips people? haha I'm asking for help here =P

Well tomorrow is another to look forward to. Keep telling myself this and I've been getting more and more brighter instead of gloomy days.

That's all for now and I'm gonna use what suemitraa teach me which she saw from gossip girl

xoxo - You know you love me

HAHAHAHAHAH!

January 9 2010

The day where churches are being torched down and as rumors or not cars are being smashed on any single sing of Christianity. Things are starting to get out of control and all the government do is talk talk talk with not a tiny single action at all from my point of view. Sooner or later may 13 will happen again and this time we may say goodbye to Malaysia for good. A term I would like to shout at the government if I could * PERGI TIDUR LA, HARI HARI TIDUR AJE! TAK PE BUAT APA TIDUR AJE! CIBAI BETUAL KAME NI!* XD human emotions are deadly things especially anger

Well today is an awesome day hahahaha met quite a few people which are mostly girls hahahahaha!! THANK YOU EDWARD! =P Going to watch sherlock holmes with edward, nadhirah and carmen on monday. Whee~ then met a kedah girl thanks to suemitraa XD hahahah and we're going kedah during our sem break just to chill with her and edward is coming along whooot! Smoked 2 sticks of ciggy just to socialise with people O_O dangerous habit it is =.= but part of life as a friend of mine say if u wanna build contact never reject whatever they offer or it may ruin your chance to gain a contact.

Well tomorrow or rather today I'm gonna work on my part time job which is getting more and more awesome well to me I guess cause I just gotta talk to people and I enjoy talking to people who know me ahahaha well mostly crapping which is good lolx! Well wish me good luck people cause I need it and hopefully I'm gonna meet more people whee~

Night and may Christians find peace soon from this chaos. One of the reason I'm an atheist and hate my ex-religion because of this kind of behavior. Again may all Christians out there be safe especially my friend whom I care for losing one of you would not be easy to handle. Even one's we've lost contact with for years or months or weeks I'm still there XD PRAY PEOPLE PRAY!

Ok getting lame.. blame sleepiness! plus family issues coming up again but I've settled it I guess but it ain't over... lucky it's just something small... sooner or later which I hope not a bigger one will come.. well hope i can settle that too =P CRAP! advertisement assigment zzz... tmr! XD

-End-

My tag line =D

Today in class was asked to create a tag line for our-self and mine was -Damn the Line, Love the Beat* which means don't follow the flow but follow your own way, create your own music, create your own style etc etc. Then went to work on my 1st day, it is an effing easy job AHAHAH! Most of the things I only did was sit down and chat with Su. God I love this job, plus I'm hoping I'm allowed to use this job to skip internship that way I am able to save about 1k for the dumb fees of internship zzz..

Well came back happy and abit tired, had fun chatting with mom and lil bro haha. Apparently my bro got a job at one utama which pays rm10 per hour and he only has to work 6 hours a day for just two weeks. He's working at Ogawa and each chair he manage to sell, his comission will be aroumd rm300-400 hahaha. Am happy for him =D. My relationship with my lil bro has become closer drastically through the times we've been through. Can't wish for anyone else besides him to have a day of non-stop laughter with no matter how down I am =D.

I'm having an awesome time since new year eve and I'm happy, everything is starting to slow down and cool down. Things are starting to look good and I hope this goes on. Su isn't having the best of luck for now but I hope things will turn out better for him hahaha.

Well came home and on twitter, saw something kinda depressing, the way that person react over just the mention of my name together with that person's name. hahaha been dreaming too much of ever getting back as close as we used to. I was dumb and naive and I guess I still am but I guess we can't always expect everything to work out ahhahahaha. Stop following that person, gotta start moving on if just the mention of a name sends that person that way wheee~ Nothing's gonna bring this smile down on my no more, better yet I'm still smiling now on how much fun I'm gonna have with the plans I made.

Dinner with Edward and the gang, late night movie with Su and of course go through college life while savouring every moment I have. Life is good if you look at the bright side of it. My motto works for me and my tag line will be what I'm gonna live on. Mr Hardip is a good lecturer =D

Nights people

-End-

College

Well classes starts again tomorrow and I'm still in my holiday mood lolx but I kinda want college to start cause I am seriously unproductive at home! Can't wait to see everyone again in a way and start hanging out instead of dying at home lolx. Tomorrow is my 1st day at work at ma part time job and I seriously hope I can do a good job >< the commission is awesome if you can get it sold hahahaha

Well got myself a haircut and I can make my hair into a mohawk~ wheee~ something I've never tried before muahahahaha. New year, New look. Hopefully it looks good on me xD

That's all~

-End-

1st nightmare in ages

Lolx had a nightmare well not really cause I didn't really woke up but I remember it clearly and it's something I hope it wouldn't happen XD. In this nightmare I lost a good friend of mine due to some arguements but can't remember what we were arguing about ahahhahaha. Usually I get dreamless sleeps but I considering this is a new year and I'm seeing things in a different way there's bound to be some changes. Well thing are seriously finally looking good lolx, I'm getting my allowance again but only after chinese new year ahahha which is when I'm gonna get my ear pierce and most prob my tattoo. wheeee~ Well for this month I still gotta hang on with whatever few bucks I have left but I can do it lolx. If I can survive for 4 months last year I'm sure I can survive 1 more months!

Been listening to some old songs and this song kinda made me miss my dad, made me wonder whether am I the son he wanted me to be or did I somehow drift off the path he wanted me to be on? Will never know I guess.. well you people with both your parents, start appreciating them more, I miss my dad alot and my mom's not home most of the time anymore.. haiz but still I know she's just trying to make me and my lil bro life more comfortable so yeah~ Gotta look at the bright side and be optimistic! my motto and it suits me perfectly =D.

Another song that kinda made me miss some other people was everytime haha. The times was bad but the ones that cared was there and I kinda miss that and I don't really mind going back then for just one day just to hang with them 1 more time. At least I know that I was never left alone and I probably still ain't aahahahahhahaha! College starting soon >.< hope I can ace this sem too.. nah I need to ace this sem lolx

Bloggie!

I like blogging >.> hahaha as you can see I almost update it everyday xD well I guess cause this is something like my diary where I'm writing about my life and I like it. Keeps things in order lolx plus I enjoy just writing stuff especially stories! XD Just came back from playing left 4 dead 2 actually with bryan and kok pin. Been ages since I've seen bryan lolx. Well I'm hopping the job that I was accepted to still wants me cause they haven't called me when they said they would or email me. Gonna call them on monday to make sure that I'm still wanted cause I really need a job lol.. Need that laptop for my own purpose cause my bro is starting college soon and we can't share 1 computer all the time for work.

Well don't really have much to say already. Missing some people XD loads actually~ hahaha can't wait to go back to college and re-socialised!

Bloody Rose

What if the person you've trusted just disappeared
What if the person you've always depended on just vanished
What if without that person you can't get a hold of things anymore
What if you just lose hold of what's been keeping you... alive

A smile on your face yet pain in the heart
Jokes comes pouring out of your mouth yet agony is what you feel
Having fun is what you're showing but only thing is loneliness in your mind
Thinking deeply every second you're left alone just to say you're day dreaming

Palms on your face as if something is breaking apart
Arms around yourself just to keep that composure of yourself
Taking every bit of strength just to get through another day
Never ending pain that's been piercing through the heart

Usual acts are coming out the wrong way
Plans backfired and all you feel is the agony inside
Trying and acting but never working
Numbness is all you wish for, but it never comes

Hope is what you wish for
Believing in something is what you can't bring yourself to do
Finding that hand to hold is becoming harder
Looking for the mind and heart that shoulder the pain together is not around

Hugging yourself is all that's left you can do
Telling yourself that everything's gonna be alright
Watching everything breaking and falling around you
Just standing alone in a field with a bloody rose

Hoping.. Wishing.. that the one to accept that bloody rose would appear
To hold your hand, to stand beside you, to give back something to believe in

*I really like this, the one I wrote.. I love every single part of it except the ending. I feel like something's missing but hey if you guys can gimme a comment on what I should add or shouldn't for the ending then please feel free. Well the 1st day of the new year is over and I'm starting to like who I've become, The resolution I made is working for me and I finally found something I've finally made a right decision too haha. Getting some self-confidence back and hell yeah I'm enjoying my life right now.* Well this is me out and take care people XD enjoy life, you only live once.